Sarah Palin and 2012

Sarah Palin, former governor of Alaska and vice president candidate, has been growing in popularity as candidate for president due to the 2012 Mayan doomsday theory.

In a national poll, the most popular reason for supporting Palin was, “2012, bro!” with 89%, followed by “I saw Who’s Nailin’ Palin” with 7% and 4% actually supporting her ideas.

Local Palin-supporter Tyler Russell said, “I think it would be hilarious for Sarah Palin to get elected. Plus, it really doesn’t matter, since the world is going to end a month later! I also plan on taking out a home equity loan and applying for hundreds of credit cards. Just think of the lulz!!”

Representing the vast minority that supports the viewpoints of Sarah Palin, local recluse, Nancy Pepperton said, “She is the best choice for this country. I mean, she wants the government to stay out of my toenail collection, and I need them to stay away from my collection. It’s mine! What’s mine is mine! Not yours! Mine!” She then beat our reporter with a shoe, while screaming in tongues.

The science community has been debating the probability of the 2012 doomsday theory for years. It originates from the Mayans who were able to predict astronomical events, Nostradamus’ predictions, and the election of a black president in a free society.

A cornered a scientist in the male’s restroom at comic-con, Jeffery Robertson said, “The idea of a doomsday coming on December 21, 2012 is a scientific certainty, like the hilarity of Dilbert, the superiority of the Spirit Bomb to the Kamehameha, or the effectiveness of thundershock on a defenseless Horsea.”

“With the guarantee of the world ending, the fact that Palin couldn’t finish her first term becomes irrelevant,” said political scientist, Rachel Thompson. “Looking at her record as governor of Alaska, it is estimated she would have stayed president until January 22, 2013. It’s really her only flaw, and with that taken out of the equation, she’s the perfect candidate.”

As Sarah Palin tweeted during her last days in office as governor, “W/kids in camper;on World's Best Rd Trip!To soar by Mt.McKinley&rushing rivers,we remember all of AK is BIG/WILD/GOOD LIFE;feel freedom here”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” asked anyone with an intellect.