AC/DC Sues 5th Grader

AC/DC, a musical group founded in the 1970’s, has sued a local 5th grade student for plagiarism.

Jake Littleton, a student from Sawyer Lake Elementary School, started learning how to play the drums as apart of the school’s music program.

Jake thought he was learning a simple rock beat. Proud of himself, Jake videotaped himself playing the beat on his father’s drum set and posted it on YouTube.

Phil Rudd, drummer from AC/DC watched the video and saw that it was the beat that he plays in every AC/DC song ever. Rudd called his attorney and sued Littleton for plagiarism.

In a press release from AC/DC: “This is a very serious matter, and we will make sure that full extent of the law is enforced. Plagiarism is as bad as piracy, and with the minimal effort we put into our songs, we need as much money as possible in order to keep our pacemakers running.”

Many fans are supportive of the band’s effort to correct this grave injustice.

“Kids these days; they’re always ripping off the greats. Why can’t they do something original? Like Frank Sinatra! There was a musician! Nowadays, every popular song has already been written by Bob Dylan!” exclaimed Bill Oldman. “I followed AC/DC back in ’84. I was sure that it was the best use of my pension. Now I have to work at a Hot Topic just to pay for my medication.”

In an interview, Littleton said, “Stranger danger! Stranger danger!”

The trial was held in the Supreme Court on April 15th. With the overwhelming evidence supported by AC/DC; including: all their CD’s, a signed t-shirt for each juror, and a bloody leather glove; Littleton was found guilty.

Littleton was tried as an adult, and was sentenced to be a roadie for AC/DC for 2 years, and he must listen to every song that the band performs.

Some people find this sentence a cruel or unusual punishment.

“Littleton’s punishment is a bit weird,” said local college student, Greg Jonesinberg. “I mean, I think we should just give him the death penalty. It’s the only way he’s going to learn what’s right.”

“I can’t believe that they would do that to Jake,” Beth Oven said, a professor of Music at the University of Washington. “Have you ever tried to listen to an entire AC/DC song? I tried last year for lent, and I lasted about thirty seconds. I was proud of myself; many of my colleagues didn’t even make it that long.”

“I actually lost a friend to AC/DC,” said Bob Commonname, a running start student at Green River Community College. “He tried to listen to Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap and after the first chorus he stabbed his ear drums and bled to death.”

Although, not everyone thinks that the punishment is cruel.

When asked, Tyler Roksout said, “AC/DC RULES!! WOOOO!! DAH DAH DAH-- DAH DAH DAH--” He then allegedly dropped his tall boy of beer and passed out on the sidewalk.

After the trial, Rudd said, “I’m so glad to see that everyone can see the skills that it takes to play my drum beats; and especially that we, as Americans, will not stand for plagiarism and piracy.”