MIMS Current Status

Ever since his one week at number one with This is Why I’m Hot, the hip-hop artist, MIMS has rarely been seen or heard from.

Our research team spent months surveying Jamaica to find out what MIMS has been up to.  This effort was not successful. But, after attending a seminar in a local Red Robin bar, our team has found out where MIMS has gone with his life.

It turns out, MIMS has become the English Department head at Harvard University because of his poetic prowess.

This comes as no surprise to many MIMS fans. MIMS is well known for his expert lyricism and mesmerizing chokehold on the English language.

There are many lyrical devices in his hit single This is Why I’m Hot that justify Harvard’s decision.

In the song, MIMS uses monorhymes as well as other challenging rhyme schemes. Monorhymes show that he is able to think of many words that end in a similar way. This is a more challenging kind of poetry than standard couplets seen in most of today’s lyrics.

An example of this is: “This is why I'm hot, Shorty see the drop / Ask me what I paid and I say yeah I paid a guap / And then I hit the switch that take away the top / So chicks 'round the way they call me cream of the crop” (Verse 3).

In this stanza, MIMS is talking about how shorties be all seeing his new convertible and he responds by saying that he spent a large sum of money.  Seeing as he has a very expensive car, and one assumes with kicking spinners and a banging subwoofer, all the shorties around can tell that he is the best guy in town.

MIMS’ use of “Shorty, “drop,” “guap,” and “cream of the crop” show that MIMS understands the language of the urban communities, and can explain his philosophical musings with them in a language that they will understand, further expanding the knowledge of our youth.

“And when I hit Chi / People say that I'm fly / They like the way I dress they like / (They like my) my attire move crowds from side to side / They ask me how I do it and simply I reply...” (Verse 1).

As the reader can see, MIMS is talking about how his reputation as a poet has followed him when he travels across the country. He uses rhetoric to emphasize that fact that people enjoy the way that he dresses. The last line implies that his method of dressing so well is simple, but indescribable. 

Not to mention, the catchy prolific chorus shows his rhyming skill: “This is why I'm hot / This is why I’m hot / This is why, This is why / This is why I'm hot.” This is an example of a rubaiyat verse. Only seasoned poets even try to attempt this very difficult rhyme scheme.

MIMS isn’t only an expert at Western rhyme schemes. In the opening lines of the first verse, MIMS shows us a haiku: “I don't gotta rap / I can sell a mil saying / nothing on the track.”

MIMS is by far the best poet of our generation, and possibly of all time. His poetic genius puts Confucius, Edgar Allan Poe, and even William Shakespeare to shame. 

The United States government should get their heads straight and finally declare MIMS the next Poet Laureate of America. 

As Obama said, regarding MIMS lyrics, "This s**t's gettin' way too complicated for me."

Reviews

[alesuriko]

This is really well done. You wrote this in such a professional, journalistic way that it almost feels real... other than the fact that it's dripping with sarcasm. This is a wonderful satire. I absolutely adore the manner, tone, and everything about it. It's a perfect journalistic piece to be published in the humor section or a satirical paper... hell this would be something perfect to submit to The Onion. I encourage you to keep this up, it's wonderful to read. You capture such a realistic aspect of obvious fictitious circumstances. If people didn't know any better they could think this is a real news report. Wonderfully done.

[Emily Quinn]

hahaha!! this is good stuff. MIMS.... oh my. love the way you used such professional sarcasm