Hurricane Simile Hits Florida Coast

A few weeks ago the Florida coast was devastated by a metaphorical hurricane. President-elect Barack Obama was nowhere to be found for sentiment or comment on the damage left by the hurricane, which has been deemed the name “Hurricane Simile.”

“Hurricane Simile was like a giant vortex of destruction and doom! I was like an old man who found out what MTV was, and I ran for the hills!” said Florida-Resident Gregory Wolfensteainberg.

Many of the residents of Florida expect more from the president that they elected, and at least expected that he would send some supplies for support to rebuild the cities that were destroyed by the hurricane.

A telethon was held recently to raise money to help the damaged Florida coast community. In a segment featuring Michael Myers, Barbara Streisand blurted, “Barack Obama doesn’t care about old Jewish people.”

Following the shocking comment, Mike Myers just stood there in awe with his mouth agape for a few seconds and screamed, “Every freaking time!”He then proceeded to walk off the stage in a fury while mumbling to himself.

The controversial comment by Streisand has shaken the country up, as more and more people are now blaming Barack Obama for the lack of preparation to prevent such damage to everyone’s favorite retirement state. 

“What Streisand said was completely uncalled for,” said local Obama-supporter and bro, Chad English. “You can’t blame a man who stood for change and hope to be conspiring to knock Florida off the map and kill babies!”

When we told Chad that Barack had not been accused of killing babies, Chad stumbled saying, “Of course he hasn’t, that would be crazy.”

Many in the science community have speculated on the situation, saying that this kind of travesty was destined to happen.

“Actually, Florida was doomed form the beginning,” began sciencology-expert Rick Smartman, “It was founded on a coast, and they built Disneyworld in its residence. That’s a screaming metal deathtrap if I’ve ever heard one.”

Barack Obama has been criticized as being too inexperienced to be president. He has only been President-elect for two months, while other president-elects have moved on to become presidents. 

It is not this place for this reporter to suggest that Obama is a terrible person and had the capability to prevent such a tragedy from occurring on our own native soil, but Obama is a terrible person and had the capability to prevent this kind of tragedy from happening on our own native soil.

Since the devastation of the Florida coast, Obama’s approval rating has dropped 136%, leaving him at a mere 75%.

As political commentator for Fox News, Pat Ondabak said, “Obama must step up and take responsibility to the damages left in America’s retirement home or immediately resign from the office of president-elect! Also, he’s a baby killer.”