Apology

I wrote this letter during my "happy-go-lucky stupid young girl trying to hold onto an even more stupid man" phase.

I know I've said this a million times

But I just can't say it enough.

I love you, and I'm sorry.

I know this life is tough.

For so long I've been living in a dream world

Believing that what I was dreaming was reality,

But that reality wasn't my dream

And I couldn't accept that.

I wouldn't accept that.

I won't ever accept that.

But I realized this too late.

And now that I've lost that which I heald most dear to me,

Of whom I loved more than life itself.

That more precious than a world of wealth

I tried taking on too much

And in the meantime neglecting my sole reason

For being allowed to walk this Earth.

Now this priviledge is a curse.

And what makes it worse is now I am alone.

I  must carry out this relentless task.

And no amount of repentance

Will ever change my sentance.

I never dreamed my surrender would be this cruel.