My Story

This is my story.

MY Story

My story starts off in March 8, 2002, at Kaiser South in Sacramento, California. I was 6lbs, yellow, with a head full of back hair. Born almost a month early do to the fact that my mother was running out of water. My mother who was only 16. There was only one problem, who was my father? The young, football player or the close family-friend. It took a year for everyone to find out that the football player was my dad, but the close family-friend still considered me his daughter.

For most of my life I was with my god family, but don’t ask my mom all she would do is deny it. My mom was always focused on her life. Her boyfriends, friends, and partying. I was a second priority, but hey at the end of the day she was my mom. Every so often my dad would come see me most of the time letting me down, but hey he is my dad.

I was usually happy, but when I started 7th grade things changed. My mom, my two sisters, and I moved to a new house with her boyfriend, so I had to start a new school. I didn’t know anybody, I wanted to fit in with the people around me. This boy, I had a small crush on him, texted and asked me if I could send him a pic of my b***s. At first I was like “no” and “ew”, but eventually I did and he sent it to almost everyone in my grade.

The school got involved, then the cops. I was almost arrested for child pornography, for something I didn’t even know was illegal. Eventually the school had to tell my mom, even though some nights she was beating me. My mom beat me when she found out, I knew she would, but not as bad as I thought it would be. The school called CPS, but nothing happened.

At school I started getting bullied, I fell into a deep depression and started cutting. I was never happy. Around Christmas of 2014 I tried to kill myself and I got yelled at for it. I continued to cut. On March 3, 2015 I tried to kill myself again. I ended up puking than passing out. Cops took me to the E.R than I was transported to psych ward in Vallejo, California. Where I stayed for a week, including my 13th birthday.

My mom sent me to go live with my Lola where I had to go to therapy… a lot, but continued to cut whenever I had a chance. Somehow I was able to pass body checks without seeing a single scratch. After my 7th grade year I went back to my mom’s house, I was struggling.

On June 9, 2015 I was readmitted to the hospital, but this time only for a day. I stopped living with my mom again. She never talked to me for 2 months. we were both really stubborn and didn’t want to be the first person to see how the other person was doing, but that had to come to an end. When school was starting back up my mom told me to come live with her and that’s where I am at now.

I am now an 8th grader NP3 Middle School and things have gotten better with my mom, but not with my mental health. I struggle with cutting, I want to be skinnier (I am 5’3 and 90 lbs), I have moderately severe depression and some anxiety. I just can’t to find my way out.