Goldilocks!

A draft of a script I'm writting for my drama class :)

Goldilocks Script DRAFT IDEAS-

Scene 1- T.V commercial

Reporter: You are joining us on metropolises Most Wanted! Well known assassin goldilocks (goldilocks steps forward in mug shot position) is on the run after escaping from honey dukes prison. (Goldilocks stops drops and rolls).If you have any information call the police hotline: 0800 PO LICE.

Scene 2- Police station �" (three police are sitting at computers (typing) then someone off stage makes the sound of a phone ringing.)

Policewomen 2- Hello?

Voice off stage- There is a highly dangerous serial killer on the loose!

Policewomen 2- Oh well that’s no good! ...we have some other cases to work on...so leave your number with our secretary and we will get back to you in say 3 weeks?

Voice offstage- But...

Policewomen 2- Have a nice day! (Then returns to typing)

Policewomen 1- Hello?

Voice offstage- We have received a tip off. Goldilocks has a plan to assassinate the goodie making giant ‘father bear’. She is headed to his privet residence at 101 Tinyteddy Avenue.

Policewomen 1- Thank you sergeant.

Voice offstage- well what are you waiting for?! MOVE MOVE MOVE!

(Police exit)

Scene 3- Outside 101 Tinyteddy Avenue- Goldilocks trying to break in.

Goldilocks- Damm these stupid locks! They just won’t budge!

Fairy godmother- Fear not Cinderella!  Your fairy godmother has arrived!

Goldilocks- Dude err wrong fairytale...

Fairy godmother- Really? Again? (Sigh) I was so looking forward to turning something into a pumpkin...

Goldilocks- well since you’re already here could you please turn this lock into a pumpkin so i can break into this dudes house and assassinate him?

Fairy godmother- of course my dear...blah blah blah Suzuki Honda civic! Now I must depart...

(Goldilocks smashes the pumpkin and breaks inside)

(Police run on, puffing and breathing deeply)

Policewomen 2- Have we got the right house this time!?

Policewomen 3- Yeah we don’t was bust into another house with a karate chopping grandma...

Policewomen 1-oh shut up! Yes we have the right house! We better survey the area and then call back up we don’t want to risk anything with a mad women like goldilocks.

(Policewomen exit the stage)

Scene 4 �"Inside the three bear’s house.

Goldilocks- ooooooh Frog legs! How French!

(She takes a bite out of the frogs leg)

Princess- Hey! Thats my frog! Oh no! I was meant to kiss him and turn him back into a prince! Now look what you have done!!! (Princess exits crying)

Goldilocks- What’s her problem!? (She grabs an apple of the table, takes a bite...then starts choking before spitting it out) Snow white may have been dumb enough to fall for the old poison apple trick, but not me! ( Goldilocks picks up another piece of food) Ooooh! Look an eat me biscuit! (scoffs biscuit) I’m meeeeeeeelltingg!!!!! (pause) just kidding!

(Friday begins playing)

Goldilocks- I love this song!!! (and begins singing along, dancing and head banging...She trips over a nearby chair and it breaks...)

Golidlocks- Wasnt that already broken?? Tehe! Oh well!

(Feeling so tired she heads over to one of the three computers at the back of the room and turns it on)

Goldilocks- Why is this computer taking soooooooooooo longggggggggggggg?

(kicks it hard and it falls to the ground)

Goldilocks- (pauses staring at the computer) wasn’t me!

(She moves to the next one and turns it on)

 Goldilocks- ahh this one is much faster...okay now let’s see...what i didn’t click that!?...what is this?

Robotic voice- Malfunction! Malfunction!

(goldi pulls the plug out and the computer switches off. She moves to the next one. And turns it on)

Goldilocks- Okay so facebook... What’s on your mind...  OH M G! You wont believe what I’ve been through today! Breaking out of prison with nothing but a spoon then breaking a pumpkin , eating all kinds of junk!, crushing his chairs ex o ex o gossip girl...

(James Bond theme)

(Two policewomen duck and roll and enter the bears house)

Policewomen 3- errr guys this isn’t a james bond movie!

Policewomen 2- sorry

Policewomen number 2- Freeze! Police! Stand up and turn around SLOWLY

(policewomen 1 drops gun and slowly stands and turns around to face audience)

Policewomen 2- Not you idiot!

Policewomen 1- oh right! (trying to redeem herself she starts stalking around a chair containing a teddy bear)

Police 3- Um...why are you interrogating a teddy bear!?

Police women 2- (Runs up and grabs goldilocks) Were guna take you DOWNTOWN!

Policewomen 1- Errr boss we don’t have a downtown

Policewomen 2- Oh right were guna take you UPTOWN (police start to exit)

Policewomen 3- Can we stop for donuts on the way?

Author's Note

Ignore spelling and grammar!
Any ideas please!
I really need some help! :)

Reviews

[Brucey Biscuits]

I really like the idea. Goldilocks stepping forward as a serial killer had me literally laughing out loud! The references to various fairytales are funny and a very nice touch, though they slightly take over to an extent. Goldilocks updating her facebook was a brilliant idea.

Ideas for improvement would be to have one completely serious police officer to contrast the other two, which highlights how utterly useless they are. And I'm not sure where the music came from, it kind of appeared out of nowhere, which confused me a bit, but it's hardly important (just me being picky). And the ending was a little bit sudden, so some more build-up towards that (perhaps a Big Bad Wolf vs 3 little pigs-style of stand-off?) would give it more impact.

Other than that it's a very promising start to an inspired idea. Good work!