I Promise You Won't Know

I couldn’t help it anymore. I had to ask him…

                I walked up to him with a sad smile and waved weakly. My heart hurt as a small smile painted a crossed his face.

                “Hey.” He wrapped his arms around me soft as if not to hurt me.

                I pulled away and stared at him with tear filled eyes. “Can I ask you something?” I whispered with my eyes glued to the ground. I could feel my heart break with every second I waited for his answer. I didn’t want to ask him. I didn’t want to hear what I dreaded- what I knew he was going to answer with my next question.

                “….sure…”

                I swallowed hard hoping that I would be able to ask. “…Do you” I paused as I felt my heart pleaded not to ask. “still love me?” I slowly looked up at him needing to know the answer to something that I should already know, to something that I shouldn’t have to ask.

                 Pain spread a crossed his face. I knew then the answer, yet I waited for him to say it to my face. I could feel my heart pound harder as if trying to break itself before he did.

                “I do, but I know it’s going to be over.” He said slowly as if afraid what I would do. I bit my lip hard in confusion.

                “I assumed.” I barely whispered as I stared blankly at the ground. “I had a feeling you were going to leave me this whole time, but I couldn’t walk away..” How stupid of me. Tears fell one by one from my cheeks, but I didn’t move to wipe them away. “I knew you never really loved me.”

                “What do you mean I never love you?” He asked defensively. “It’s not like I’m enjoying this.” His voice cracked at the end.

                I looked up at him with a glare. “You knew this whole time you were going to leave me. I was just a simple toy for you.” I pointed out with more tears falling. My bottom lip quivered and I bit into it.

                “We both knew precious.” His eyes also turned to a glare.

                “Well I was hoping I was wrong. I was hoping you were going to wait for me.” I snapped at him. “But I was wrong.”

                “So are you breaking up with me?” he asked wanting me to look like the bad guy I assumed.

                My heart broke a little with the question. “I’m the one in love, even if I don’t want to be. So why do I have to end it. You’re the one that doesn’t want to stay together.” I whispered.

                He sighed in annoyance. “I don’t want to break up. We had a good relationship, but I’m a senior and I’m going to college in a different state. You still have two years of high school.” He reminded me. “I don’t think it will be fair if I keep you. How do think we will be able to work it out?” He asked me with a frown.

                I looked up at him in shock. I had already been planning on going to summer school and graduating early just so I could stay with him, but he never even thought about keeping me. I was always disposable to him. I felt so stupid for loving him so much. “I had a plan, but it doesn’t matter now. I know that whatever I say won’t make you keep me.” I forced the words out of my mouth. I wiped away the tears that stained my pride. “So we’re just friends now?” the words friends felt so wrong to call him. It stung my heart and made fresh tears fall. It started to get harder to breathe.

                “The best of friends.” He whispered. I swallowed hard. “I still want you to talk to me, and not to ignore me.” He said as if it would help me stop crying. “But don’t go around telling people that I broke up with you. We broke up together kay?” He asked me to cover up for him.

                I felt disgusted and hurt. “I’m less concerned about the way people see you and me, but I promise you I won’t make you look like the bad guy.” I snapped. I couldn’t believe that he was such a jerk, but the thing I couldn’t believe the most was that I still loved him. “So tell me what I can’t do-” I broke down the tears they fell uncontrollably, the strong mask I tried so hard to keep on fell off. I tried to take deep breaths to calm myself down. He never loved me. He only had wanted me for sex. He was like all the other guys, but I had let him in.  

                The warning that everyone told me flashed through my mind, and I felt stupid for not believing them. I bit my lip hard and forced the mask back on. “Sorry…” I mumbled. I looked up at him with a forced smile. “I promise you will never see me cry… never see me hurt again. I promise it will all be smiles and giggles.” I laughed softly while wiping the tears from my face.

                I turned away from him and walked away. I felt my lip bleed as I bit harder into it trying to make the tears disappear. I felt my heart break a little with every step I took away from him. Why did love him?

Author's Note

Thanks for reading:) Sorry wrote this one quick lol

Reviews

[Zachary_James]

Oh my so sad but great work