surviving

a poem about unrequited love

I f*****g hate you;

I hate every time you allude that we aren't friends,

I hate every time you refuse to look at me

Even when I'm talking to you. 

You don't give a damn about me,

Even if I was crying like I am now,

Next to you, and you're doing your history homework

And complaining to a teacher all your friends aren't here at lunch

But I'm f*****g here. 

Can't you hear my tears, and see how I'm dying?

But you wouldn't care if I did die,

Only if it was an inconvenience to the play we both do,

Because that's the only time you care about me

And I know it's against your will. 

You're selfish, you're a b***h to everyone

So of course I fell for you and I can't get over it,
Even when you give me that hateful glare you're bearing right now

As tears are streaming down my face

Because like you, my friends abandoned me and I'm lonely

And I need you to just ask if I'm good. 

I'm not good,

I'm not even f*****g close,

But you couldn't see if I was stabbing myself to death in front of you

Because you don't care. 

I love you now,

I'm pathetic that I let it get that far.

Even if you keep hating me and it keeps killing me,

I don't care because you're f*****g worth it,

I would rip myself to shreds for you. 

Author's Note

I wrote this while my crush was doing her homework and her friends left to get lunch and my friends abandoned me because I'm a freak and they kind of don't care. I know it's toxic but everything in my life is. Enjoy!