The Pumpkin and the Pixie

Appearences often are deceiving. . . .Warning 10 year olds an under read at your own risk!

Deep in the forest of mystic woods, we pass and step by fallen leaves.

As the leaves fall, we begin to see them twist and sway with the fey as they jump from tree to tree. We do not see them, but we see them. We walk and walk as we pass by a waltzing fey. Once our feet crunch the new fallen crisp leaves, she stops. Everything is silent. The animals stopped and came alert. So silent and eerie, even the beings themselves started to startle themselves.

 

Quietly, as silently as she could, a hiding place was found. From there she stood and waited behind friendly, comforting leaves. Waiting and waiting she did, till finally the giants left. When the close was clear she was about to go out. And when she did, something grabbed her from behind. The fey was so startled she was about to scream. She didn’t because a ruff, thick, and prickly leafy green vine had quickly but gently covered her mouth. A leaf moved over her already covered mouth and from behind the terrified fey something or someone whispered “hush, it’s not safe yet”.

 

The fey was about to try and scream again. She was so frightened and scared. What if he is that monster that all the elves warned us about? While she was trying to recall the warning other fey where trying to tell her; the bushes in front of her started to shake and move. It was a human. They little fey eyes widened even more, for the human, its face was so close to hers and the leaves, only time stood still. Breathe held, and silent prayers was being sent to the goddess. She prayed and prayed that he wasn’t one of those ignorant humans with the sight to see him.

 

Sweat was breaking out from the frightened fey. But time moved on when the human boy left from the bushes. “Nothin there except for a random wild pumpkin”, said the boy as he left with his friend. “Come on, it’s getting dark. . .” the boys friend stated. Relief washed over her as the humans laughed and joked as they walked away from the bushes. The fey didn’t hear what he said earlier. If only she knew. Green vines that was once binding her, silencing her, now set the relieved fey down.

 

“I didn’t get any of my tiny thorns on you did I?” asked the mysterious savior. After brushing off, she finally responded by turning around, she smiled and said no. When she looked too see her savior, all she could see was his vines, shadows masking his figure. “Oh I’m so glad. . .” said the mysterious being. “Yep! Not a single scratch!” chirped the now happy fey. “I’m glad to hear that”, replied back her savior. She didn’t see it, but there was a shadowy smile on his “face”. Feeling safe now, the fey decided to introduce her.

 

“My name is Pixie, Pixie Le Fey! Now please come out and play! Sing your name, so I can grant your wish in repayment for a good deed!” she chanted. “Jack. . .” he replied back. Something in her memory stirred, but she thought nothing about it. He hobbled out from the shadows, with what little light to see with, came out an innocent looking pumpkin who grew in the woods. “Oh it’s you Mr. Pumpkin,” she smiled from seeing her old friend. “What’s your wish, tell me and I shall grant it.” Pixie would regret her words soon. When he spoke, a light came out of his mouth.

 

“I wish. . .” he said with a demonic grin, a grin that only a lantern could make. Pixie froze from horror. Memories of what the other fey children warned her about finally came to her. Be aware of jack-o-lanterns. I heard they eat fey. There the fairy eaters. . . . She couldn’t utter a word as the monster came closer to her. A glowing eye opened up.

 

Another opened, his feature completed.“I wish . . . for you to be dinner” he said with a ghastly grin on his face. He chuckled and laughed in a grimly matter while Pixie just stayed in her place, cold fear on her expression. “No” was all she could say. First the monster drains her of her light. Then the monster devours her. The last the thing the fey child saw, darkness. Above in the tree’s, an owl stands, then takes flight into the October night.

Author's Note

this was for school one day, what do u guys think?

Reviews

[Raaf]

Great story, K.G.! Pretty sad twist at the end in which the savior becomes the villain, but I like the way in which you replace the gruesome death of Pixie Le Fey with dark imagery - very clever! I really like the idea of an animated pumpkin monster as a character. I like how you gave pumpkin monsters intrinsic characteristics like their infamous devilishness. It just makes sense, somehow that a pumpkin monster would save a pixie just so he could eat her.

I would suggest that you proof read a few more times. In addition to a few gramatical errors there seems to be an inadvertent transition from second person ("we") to third person ("she"). Personally, I prefer stories that are written in the omniscient third person perspective so I would advise dropping or changing the beginning to match the rest. First and second person narratives are kind of "screechy" to me for some reason. Does that make sense? Also, every time you proof read you should be imagining what it must be like for someone who has never read your story before to be reading it for the first time. You obviously have a very intricate understanding of the scene and the characters playing a roll in the scene, but sometimes your introduction to the characters or description of their motives is a little too direct. By being direct you're actually missing a great opportunity to employ your tremendous talent as a descriptive writer. You're losing your audience right at the moment when you should be drawing them in and selling them on this great story. Write, read, repeat! :)

I think you have a LOT of potential as a writer. Just keep working hard at it!

[L. Catherine]

Oh my god, I feel soooooo bad for the pixie! The twist ending was a nice addition to the story though! Although there were a few spelling errors, they didn't mess with the interpretation of the story. Good work!

[K.G]

Thanx ^.^ . . .umm where are the spelling errors? >.> every one keeps telling there are spelling errors but i cant seem to find them

[L. Catherine]

"The animals stopped and came alert" (came should be became)
"Breathe held, and silent prayers was being sent to the goddess." (Breathe should be breath)
"I heard they eat fey. There the fairy eaters. . . ." (There should be they're)
"Above in the tree’s, an owl stands," (tree's should be trees)
And I believe that's it!

[K.G]

Yay!

[C.C. Marx]

great Halloween story, though i feel kinda bad for the pixie-fairy thing....oh well great job anways

[K.G]

haha its a pixie. . .if i had the choice i would have explained it more about the world XD, but its just a school assighnment so mehh

[C.C. Marx]

School assignments ughhh I have an essay do tomorrow thanks for reminding me lol :)

[K.G]

lmao xD srry! but you love meh!

[C.C. Marx]

Its fine haha Im just so uninspired i hate formal essays but luckily with school cancelled I got an extra day

[K.G]

:0 ur in the new york area?>

[C.C. Marx]

Actually the NE area school was cancelled to be safe no power has gone out yet

[K.G]

oh :0 im on the opposite end, Washington (boo seahawks , not a football fan hahah) i think today we caught the humidity >.>

[C.C. Marx]

Ughh what i would do for it to be above thirty degrees! well i love the seahawks uniforms btw but im a pats fan all the way

[K.G]

it got colder later in the day but i sopose its better over here then there. . . .lmao again i dont like foot ball, but i shall respect what u like XD

[C.C. Marx]

trust me, my basketball hoop is lying face down in my driveway, not a good day....and I like the football PLAYERS not so much football, don't really understand it haha

[K.G]

wow, you really sporty girl XD, and yeah i agree with u , not a good day at all, and ohhhhhh hahahah XD dont like them in general

[C.C. Marx]

My poor basketball hoop sighh...well i appreciate the fact that the NFL makes football players wear tight spandex, its a proven fact football players have nice butts lol :)

[K.G]

yes yes indeed they do, but i perfer martial artists >.> yummy . . .

[C.C. Marx]

haha well to be honest im a soccer fan, when they score a goal, if your lucky, they will take there shirt off

[K.G]

lmao XD there yummy too

[C.C. Marx]

oh yes Christiano Ronaldo is my future husband

[K.G]

lmao XD good luck with that

[C.C. Marx]

someday...I will settle for Diego Fagundez though, or Gareth Bale, or David Villa, i got a thing for soccer players

[K.G]

lmao, and i got a thing for sexy backs

[C.C. Marx]

haha well we all our opinions....swimmers are nice to, Ryan Lochte

[K.G]

>.> swimmers?. . . .*imagines them in there swim gear* yes , swimmers. . .. .

[C.C. Marx]

Well being a swimmer myself, i can appreciate how jacked some of them are, but sadly, some are all abs no butt

[K.G]

yeah. . .that is sad. . . .

[C.C. Marx]

but some cough ryan lochte cough have both plus a face to match :)

[K.G]

lmao XD yeah

[C.C. Marx]

but we shouldnt forget michael phelps either

[K.G]

lol

[C.C. Marx]

yep after all he is the most decorated Olympian ever sometimes a girl is attracted to power too :)

[Alexa Tasch]

"We do not see them, but we see them." This line confuzed me, but the rest of it was amazing! It flowed so rhythmicly like a poem and had great detail! The story was well thought out and interesting. The final line gave me chills!

[K.G]

oops >.< thanx for finding that. . .it was ment to say we dont see them, but they can see us.. . .ill fix that soon, hopefully. . . . .

[Alexa Tasch]

lol

[K.G]

or something like that >.>

[BakaBrook]

OMG I LOVE!

[K.G]

im glad u do hahah XD this is getting to become popular , then again halloween is comeing too soo hahah XD

[BakaBrook]

True... I stopped going out on Halloween at age 11 but wow... I really miss that childhood feeling.

[K.G]

i know right!!!!

[BakaBrook]

I might go as Slenderman this year XD

[K.G]

XD i wonder how many slenders will be out there XD

[BakaBrook]

2. Me and Slenderman.
Hey, every heard of AmazingPhil and DanIsNotOnFire?

[K.G]

omg ! ur slender!!! lol, and no i havnt

[BakaBrook]

... Damn, she got me.

[BakaBrook]

OMG! GET ON YOUTUBE AND LOOK AT THERE VIDEOS!

[K.G]

good thing im 18+ years old lmao XD. . . .and okay okay T.T my computers are bit dead at the momment

[BakaBrook]

Okays

[K.G]

lol yes :)

[BakaBrook]

^O () O^

[Raaf]

Oh! One more thing: You should have explained rather quickly that she is a pixie rather than waiting. If you were writing a longer story or a novel, then it's okay to kind of leave the reader guessing and wondering for a bit about such detail. But with a story of this length you should get such detail right up front so the reader is immediately able to visualize your scene. It helps to draw them in and enjoy the story more. Cheers!

[K.G]

this was an assighnment for class an i only had 2 days to write it XD, another thing, i like going from one view to another though i will admit i need some work on the secene -.-;. . .its sopose to be a fable and its been awhile sence i last read a fable, and as for idetifying her last, i first explain to the audience that she was a "fey" meaning she was an elf,fairy etc i didnt want people to relise this till i had to reveal her name, but i willadmit this would make a great story if i actually had the time an paitcence to write it. . but atlas. . .this just looks goos enough for me :3 though this is help ful info for when i get back to my books that im writing XD thank u for you time ^.^ ill repay u as soon as i can

[Brittany DeFranco]

you should've added the moral to the ending, it was great!! I love it ^_^

[K.G]

yay lol, i added it to the top so it can catch peoples attentions better ^.^ ill added to the bottom though so people will get the idea