ceiling

Falling down

                 down

                     my downfall.....

from cloud 9 to the ground

                        these emotions leaving me an outlaw

"Shhhhhh!!!" don't make a sound

                          Maybe it will get easier...i hope

these invisible chains on my ankles,wrists

                          Tighter goes the rope

                                                       round my neck....cringe my fists

"shhhh" it will be over soon

                           I lost feeling...

                                           I think of June

Slowly drifting...to the ceiling

                                        Just let go...

Don't try to take a breath

                                        Don't struggle..."shhh I know"

                                I always knew the answer was Death

                                       R.I.P Logan

Author's Note

trying new format

For a once upon a time friend

Reviews

[alf]

Hi micky. What depth of emotion you have layered into your words!!! This is brilliant!!! Loved the format, you have it exactly right for this poem!!!! I think the poignancy comes through the words because you cared so deeply and I can't separate one line from the others without detracting from the whole!!! Top of the list of your writes, dear friend!!! You have great talent, please keep writing!! alf

[micky]

wow thank you sooo much for the amazing review

[earth_dragon88]

This is a really cool format. Very creative, original, sad, and beautiful.

[micky]

Thank you for your kind words :)

[Akshay Rawal]

Its a good thing that you are enthusiastic about experimenting with rhyming scales. I liked the unique manipulation in the rhyme scale of the poem " mirrors"- "a-b-b-a." Other people would rather care more about the personal expression aspect.
My tributes to your friend, By the way.

[micky]

Thank you for your kind words :)

[ANTO]

Im sorry about your friend Logan. This write seems to be an exploration in the questions that those who have gone, leave behind and Im sure it wasn't easy to pen this. Its a great write and Im sure they would be proud of you and your love for them.

Losing friends to suicide is very difficult.
All the best Micky.

[micky]

thank you for the kind words

[andrew mitchell]

A well of emotions Micky captured by the bucket full with your format, the flow , the images, just brilliant

[micky]

thank you ....

[Ashwin Thakur]

Dont cry when i die smile a little bit and remember the days when i was with you
Then you will understand that i am immortal.
Beautiful intense poem
Keep writing dear.

[micky]

thank you for the kind words

[Stephen]

Thanks for sharing. very intense and emotional. I like it when people feel their poetry, it has a lot more meaning.. good poem

[micky]

thank you for the kind words

[marcus]

This is amazing, intense, really good. You're a great writer!!

[micky]

thank you Marcus :)

[mattavelli]

I got a kick out of that one. Thanks for sharing.

[micky]

thanks for reding