Betrayal...

Betrayal...

I see the fire start to burn

Everything that we have worked so hard to get

As our lives fall to ashes along with our souls

As I watch my stomach starts to turn...

This is our nightmare we will never forget

The heat is closing in, all that will be left is coals

Suddenly came the storm

As the humidity increases and the air burns the fire bright

Surrounded by colors of every rainbow 

Tomorrow when we have nothing left we will mourn  

But now I pray that we will be alright

Then you say there's no point we have nowhere to go

And this fire contains us once more

With no air left to breathe 

Suddenly we are alone

Then in the fire appeared a door

It said choose your path, and you chose to leave

Now I am on my own

I hope you live with guilt and feel hate

I hope you live knowing you left me to die

I hope they see through your broken story

And you will live knowing it's too late

Your tears are pointless, so don't bother to cry

Your time will come and it will be cruel, just know I died in glory

Reviews

[Rene Salinas]

Man , lately your subjects Micky are related to pain and suffering. Ironic that most of of the time pain and suffering rules our lives yet we don't want to acknowledge them because we risk becoming to heavy and to grey to grim and deprressed. But here you have done a good job at adding emotinal weight and it makes you sink at the end in silence.

Thankyou

[micky]

Thank you so much Rene;-)

[Ashira Macy]

I felt a lot of emotion in this one. Betrayal followed by apathy rising up from the speaker. If the person is to leave then fine, but they shouldn't expect to be welcomed back or dwelled upon, because they were the one that chose to leave. Well done.

[micky]

Thank you Ashira glad you liked the piece :)

[Revolutionary]

I hope you wouldn't do more that write a cryptic poem about how you died.metaphorically i feel your pain.another poem of pure emotion

[micky]

Are you alive if you dead on the inside? Thank you for the review

[Revolutionary]

You are alive if dead on the inside cause its a dead like a tree or wild flower that grows back even if you stomp it to nothing.
I'm getting old and I can't tell you how many times I wanted to die.but the closer I get to dying the more things I find worth living for.

[Revolutionary]

I know I look young in the pic but its a drawing.ill be 45 next month.I'm not as pretty as I was when wanted to die I don't have as many so called friends but I'm happy and you will be too one day.don't leave before you get there

[Malister Mikey]

I really enjoyed this one to die with glory, while the other is left in shame and guilt for the rest of their life.

[micky]

Thank you so much Mikey :)

[AprilRN1210]

Can feel the pain and the angst in this Micky... Out of all the ones you have done on this subject, this is by far the best I have read.. there are a few little mistakes, but it flows well and drives the point home.. the emotion is powerful and the reader feels it in every line...

few things I noticed...

"Everything that we have work so hard to get"... think you meant "worked" here

"Then you say there's no point we have know where to go".. did you mean "nowhere"?

"And you will live knowing it's to late"... think it should be "too" instead of to....
overall well done.. no that you have this out, would love to see more positive uplifting, different pieces from you.. :)

[micky]

Thank you so much April I will fix those mistakes :p

[AprilRN1210]

It is always a pleasure Micky... Glad I could help..