The monster

The monster

It creeps all around

listening to every sound

Jumping from roof top to each victim 

And they will die being bitten 

You know it's there when you smell decay

Just know that you are the prey

There's nowhere to hide, nowhere to run

  When you meet him, your life span will be done

It walks with the shadows, never to be seen at the crack of dawn

In his game of chess your just the pawn

Death stays out of his way

And Gods got nothing to do with him, at the end of the day

He walks with fear at his side

Leaving nothing but body's behind

...

Reviews

[Mila]

Hey!!! A very well put together poem with a very nice flow to it!
I noticed a few things that I thought I'd point out:
1. "In his game of chest your just...." It is supposed to be "you're" as it is a contraction of "you are" and "your" is a possessive.
2. "Leaving nothing but body's behind..." It is supposed to be "bodies" instead of "body's" as you are speaking of a body in the plural, and "body's" is a contraction that is in the possessive (usually) of an individual.

That is all I caught. All in all, good poem, your work is always a joy to read!
Well done :)

[micky]

Thank you so much for the critics I really appreciate it. :}

[Ashira Macy]

Creepiness for sure. I like that you say that even death and God steer clear of this monstrosity. It really gives a clear picture of pure evil to the reader. I also really enjoyed the couplets.

[micky]

Thank you so much. This is one of my favorites... I wrote it what seems so long ago but time will never matter in writing:)

[AprilRN1210]

I see others have already pointed out the grammar mistakes, overall this is a lovely write.. I like the tone kept throughout, the flow was pleasant and the emotion palpable.... nice portrayal of a "deadly" monster that is feared by death and God.. simple, straightforward, and interesting.. good job..

[micky]

Thanks so much April :)

[Christopher Robin]

Nice work Micky, a little simplistic but the point came through very clearly. I was going to point out the grammar errors but I see another critic has already spotted a couple, but missed one!
3rd last line ' And Gods got nothing...' should have an apostrophe, - And God's got nothing, as in, God has got nothing, needs a proper contraction.
That's all I could find, there's a slight issue with the protagonist changing from 'it' to 'him' without cause, but whether it's intentional or not it felt a little sudden and unexplained. Again you've set a good tone, good pace, and wonderful couplets.

Nicely penned,

-Robin

[micky]

Thank you (I don't know if you prefer Christopher or Robin) I appreciate the critics as I mentioned in the previous review reply on my 'errors', so please excuse them I am trying to better myself with those issues. I also meant for the sodden change from it to him as I wanted the reader to feel a sudden change in pace. Once again thanks;)

[Lauriegirl]

this poem goes down as smooth as a cup of tea! I love every perfect word and line

[micky]

Thanks so much Laurie really glad you enjoyed my dark poem ;)

[NMH]

I really enjoyed the rhyming in this and how you went about describing the monster. Thank you for sharing.

[micky]

Thank you so much NHM I really appreciate your lovely review :)

[Alexx Wake]

This is quite haunting, but with a tone that expresses the elements of a monster.
I enjoyed your choice of words aswel!

[micky]

Thank you Alexx ;) I really appreciate your review.