I’m a typical girl. Sixteen. Blonde hair that is always curly. Blue eyes that like to change colors. I’ve got a best friend, but no boyfriend. I do well in school...get along with my parents. I have one sister, that’s it. And shes only 8. There’s one thing in my life that makes me different from your average sixteen year old.
I’m a gymnast. Simple as that. I Live sleep breathe gymnastics. The gym I go to is my second home. My team mates are more like family than my own family. I’ve been in it since i was about three years old. I’m sixteen now. Gymnastics has done so much for me, like giving me my best friend-Emily.
Emily and I were in the gym one day. We were just messing around and stuff, you know the deal… coach isn’t looking, so you can take a breather. Only we didn’t want to take a breather, we wanted to try something new. I got up on the beam to try some new stuff. I was doing fine. Really. I was tumbling back and fourth. Emily was keeping guard so the coach didn’t see me up on the beam. It wasn’t like I was going to get hurt...I’ve been doing this for how long?
So I was just being silly I guess, because I wanted to remember the good ole days of level two. I tried another forward roll on the beam..the first since I was like...six? I did fine rolling, stayed on the beam fine. I tried to get up though, and slipped, and I got beam burn. Only, it started bleeding. I ran off to my bag to get a band-aid. It’d be no big deal. The day finished and I went home. No biggy.
Only, I got home and the cut was STILL bleeding. Pretty bad actually. My little sister Jennie saw it and ran out to tell my mom that I was bleeding. Mom looked at it and told me to put a band-aid on it. And I did.
But later in the shower, it was still bleeding..I was kind of scared....so I called my mom in and she looked at it and said we’d have the doctor look at it tomorrow....
*TOMORROW*
“So Hailey, how have you been?” Doctor Madison asked.
“Oh fine, you know?” I replied.
“Yeah I do. So let me see this cut that won’t stop.” I turned my leg over, to reveal it was still bleeding a little. and it had bruised, a LOT. “Oh wow. That’s a nice one...I think what’ll happen is I’ll draw some blood, and we’ll test it for infection, and I can prescribe the antibiotics, sound good?”
I nodded and Dr.Madison left.
After what seemed like three hours, she finally came back.
“Hailey...I got the results from the blood test. You don’t have an infection-” she started.
“Oh that’s good. Thanks for checking Doc.” I replied
“No Hailey...you don’t understand.”
“What do you mean?”
“You have Cancer.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I must have heard her wrong…
“Did you just say that I-” I took a deep breath and then said it “That I have cancer?”
That word left my lips, and the instant I felt myself say it, I knew it was true. But....it couldn’t be....I was a good girl. I had a life, friends. I did everything I was told. I couldn’t really have cancer...All that happened was I scraped myself on the balance beam…
“Yes Hailey, I did say that you have cancer. It’s true. But we caught it early on. Early enough that we can stop it from spreading and we can get you into remission soon.”
“Wait..does that mean that I have to start chemo?” I had read about cancer before...same old same old. You get sick, you have chemo,throw up, lose your hair and your cancer...I didn’t really like any of the sounds of it, minus the losing cancer.
“Yes Hailey it does. You start tomorrow. Go to Glendale Hospital tomorrow, they’ll get you set up. You’ll have to stay in the hospital for at least two weeks. So tonight gather all you’ll need.” She paused, looked at my mother, and back at me. “I’m really sorry to tell you all of this. But the chemo’s the only way.”
She got up and left the room, closing the door behind her. It slammed slightly, and it made us jump. Her last words....chemo’s the only way… echoed behind it. The haunting words that nobody ever wants to hear. It’s insane. I’m 16. I can’t have cancer.
We got up and left the room. Not saying a word. We got into the car, and kinda both just took a deep breath and sighed. I spoke first.
“Mom, can you drop me off at Emily’s? I’ll be home soon, I promise.”
“Are you sure honey?”
“Yeah mom, I’m sure.”
We left the doctor’s office and soon we arrived at Emily’s. The all too familiar blue mailbox, and white house. I walked up the path and knocked on the door. I saw the same brown hair as always. I had a look on my face that could have told the whole world. I figured looking at her with this face, I wouldn’t have to say that stupid six letter word again.
“Hailey..are you okay?”
Her scared voice sent me soaring. The dam behind my eyes broke, and my tears started flowing. She immediately clutched onto me and pulled me into a hug. After about five minutes, she pulled me inside.
“Hailey...what’s wrong?”
“Emily..I...I.” I couldn’t bring myself to say it… I just couldn’t… But I had to.. “Em I have cancer.”
She started crying too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*The Next day*
“Patient’s name?” The not-so-good looking receptionist’s froggy voice asked.
“Hailey Gram.” My mom answered.
“Oh yes, we’ve been expecting her. You’re in room B234. Go through the doors over there-”she pointed over towards her left “and take the elevator up to floor two. Then get off, take a left, and go down towards the end of the hall. I’ll send the nurse up in a few minutes.”
“Okay, thank you.” My mom said. I couldn’t say a word. I had spent most of the night crying. I packed my bags probably the last five minutes before I had to leave.
We made it up to the room after almost getting lost, and it made my stomach drop. It was an empty room. Two beds, one had bags on it; but there was nobody in it. I placed my bags on the other bed, which was the one next to the window. I looked outside. The sun was shining so brightly. It was to the point where the leaves were just turning colors, and they were floating around in the breeze. The scene was beautiful. There was no way I truly had cancer. I mean-
“Honey, the nurse is here.” my mom said, just as I heard the door open.
“Hey Hailey, I’m going to be your nurse, Adrien. I need you to change into these-” she handed me a hospital gown and socks “and then I’ll take you down to chemo. You can unpack your stuff afterwards.”
I asked where the nearest bathroom was, and she told me how to get there. I went in and changed. Before I left, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked the same as always...there was no way I had cancer. I mean, I haven’t lived my life yet… Tears were welling up, and I didn’t want to cry. I wiped the tears before they fell and walked back to my room.
“Hey honey, I’ve got to go. The nurse said you’ll be perfectly fine. And I’ll be by first thing tonight, around six-ish. The nurse said that the chemo would last two hours and that I’d probably benefit from sleeping for a bit. I love you, and I’ll see you later.” My mom kissed me on the cheek and hugged me. I watched her leave the room and continued staring, wondering what she was thinking.
“Hailey, follow me please sweetie.” Adrien was talking to me...I zapped out of my trance.
So I followed her out of the room, wondering what was waiting for me at my destination.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We got to this room and she opened the door. Inside there was a single chair, a sink, a bathroom(well, a toilet in a closet) and a trashcan. And the IV with the wires down from it. Adrien asked me to sit in the chair so she could explain.
“Okay Hailey, here’s how this works. I’ll put your IV in one arm, you’ll need that most of your stay here. And you’ll get your chemo in your other arm, whichever one isn’t your dominant side probably.” she paused and looked at her sheet. “Now this is going to last about, two hours probably. Now that bucket over there is going to be moved over next to you. If you feel like you’re going to be sick, that’s what it’s there for.”
-Oh wow. They plan for me to throw up? Seriously?- “Any questions?” she asked me.
“Yeah..will I lose my hair?” I asked, suddenly scared.
“It’s possible, but this chemo isn’t the STRONGEST there is, so it’s a possibility also that you’ll keep it. Now, please relax.”
She inserted the IV first...it prickled for a second, but then I didn’t even notice it. -oh wow, this won’t be bad at all- i thought to myself. But boy I was wrong. The chemo needle went in..it hurt like heck. It burned and itched. I wanted to take it out.
“You okay Hailey?” Adrien asked me “If it’s itchy, it’ll be okay.”
“I’m fine. You can leave if you want.” I replied.
“I do have other patients. There’s a button over there on the wall if you need me. I’ll be back in two hours.” And she too left the room. Left me alone, in the room with the two needles. I was all alone and left with my thoughts. Luckily I was tired...I slowly drifted off into sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
The door slowly opened as Dr. Madison walked in.
“Hailey, turns out tests were wrong. Your cancer wasn’t cancer. It was just anemia. I’ll have a nurse unhook the chemo, and you can go home tonight.”
What was going on? Was I really free? Did I really actually get to go home? Of course..the doctor said I did. I got unhooked and practically skipped the whole way back to my room. I got there and instantly punched in Emily’s number. But I got no answer. So instead, I called another one of my team mates. Amy’s all-too familiar voice answered.
“Hello?”
“Hey Amy, it’s me Hailey.”
“Oh my gosh. Hailey I heard you were sick!”
“Well...turns out, I’m really not. The tests were wrong. I get to come home tonight!”
“Oh wow, that’s great!”
And she hung up the phone. I looked back at the room that I wasn’t going to have to stay at anymore. I shoved everything in my bag and called my mom. She was there within the hour.
Waiting to leave, I walked around the rooms. I saw a girl in a room, she was hooked up to a bunch of machines. A woman, who I assumed was her mother, was sitting next to her bed sobbing. The girl looked to be about five years old. Poor thing, she must have cancer too!
I was about to walk in and say something, when my mom came around the corner. We went to my room, grabbed my stuff and went to the front desk. My mom signed the release papers and before walking out the door, I took a look back.
Next thing you know, I feel like I’m going to throw up. I fall to the ground, and only then do I realize that I was only dreaming. I’m really stuck in this place, with cancer. And I can’t ward off the feeling anymore. As much as I hate throwing up, it happens. -This is only the beginning- I thought to myself as I pushed the “Nurse for Help” button.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What felt like five hours-but was really only five minutes later, Adrien showed up at my door.
“Hailey are you-” she got a look at me and the mess I had made, “I’ll call the janitor to take care of this later. I’ll have them get you a new gown too. If you’d like a shower, once the chemo’s done, which will be in about five minutes, you can. You want me to stay with you?”
I was shaky and crying. I was scared and I didn’t want to be alone. I nodded my head at the question and watched as the last bit of the poison went into my body.
*later*
I got back to my room, to discover I wasn’t alone. The other bed that had earlier only had luggage was now occupied by a girl who had black hair and red highlights. She was soundly sleeping and I tried hard not to disturb her. I quietly moved over to my bed, and called my mom.
“Mom, are you coming to visit tonight?” I said, my voice a low whisper. “I have a room mate now and she’s sleeping.”
“Yeah Hail, sure. I’ll be by later, and I’ll have a surprise. How’d the chemo go?”
“Well, I threw up a few times. But I feel a little better now. It wasn’t really fun mom. I was alone in a room where-” I heard rustling from next to me and then my room mate flipped over and was staring directly at me. “Mom, I gotta go. My roommate’s up. I’ll see you later. Love you, bye.”
I hung up and looked over at my roommate who still had her eyes located directly at me. I didn’t know much about her, except that she must be sick. The staring continued until the people who dropped off our food came by. They went to her first.
“Yasmin, here’s what you ordered.” so that’s her name!
“And Hailey, we didn’t have any idea if you’d even be hungry, or what you’d like. So we brought you some soup. And a menu, and if you need anything, call the kitchen and we’ll have it brought up for you.”
Truth was, the idea of food made me even sicker. I couldn’t eat it..I know it wouldn’t stay down. I stared at my soup in front of me for a few minutes until I heard her voice.
“So, what’s your problem?” Yasmin asked me.
“What do you mean?”
“Well...what are you in for?”
“Cancer. They haven’t told me which kind though. You?”
“Cancer. Well, leukemia really. I’ve had it since I was five. They put me into remission, and yesterday they found out it was back. After ten years. I came in and next thing you know, I’ve got a room mate.”
“Yeah. Well..I’m sorry it came back.”
“Yeah me too.”
The door opened up and my spirits were lifted as I saw the normal curly brown hair as always.
“EMILY!!!!!”
~~~~~~~~
“HAILEY!” I heard her shriek and run towards my bed. Yasmin rolled her eyes and went back to her food. I was so excited, my best friend was here. It was like I was home. Only, not. Because I felt so weak and dizzy and sick. But Emily made me forget it all.
“Hey honey, how you feeling?” Mom walked in and took her place at the side opposite of Emily. I was surrounded by loving people. And I was sick.
“Eh...I’ve been better. But I was told that chemo would do this to me.”
“Awh honey, it’ll be okay.” Mom was always so positive.
After what only felt like five minutes, but was really three hours, Emily and my mom had to leave. I was sad, but as Em hugged me, she promised to be back tomorrow, after school, with news. Mom kissed me on the cheek and left. Left me alone with the girl in the other bed.It was about twenty minutes of awkward silence before the girl spoke.
“So. You got a boyfriend?” she asked me. Honestly, I didn’t. I’ve had boys falling at my feet all along, but I haven’t really been looking for one. I’m pretty sure, boys just liked me for three things: my blonde hair, I was skinny, and I was flexible. The boys who had been chasing me only knew my name, and didn’t want to know me. I didn’t want a boy who only wants to get in my pants.
“Uh, no, not really. You?”
“Well...sort of. I had one anyways. Before the cancer came back. He hasn’t seen me since I came in the hospital.”
“Oh, that’s too bad. So anyways do you-” I was interrupted by a voice.
“YASMIN!” it was a boys voice. I slowly went to roll over, because obviously this boy was important to her.
“Matt!” Yasmin sat up quickly and embraced the boy in a hug. She turned to me and said “Hailey, this is my brother Matt. Matt, this is Emily.
I rolled over and took a look at him. I smiled, but inside my head, my jaw dropped about ten thousand feet.
~~~~~
The boy was gorgeous. His curly brown hair slightly fell over his eyes, and it covered his head to a point where it wasn’t too long, but not too short either. His eyes were a crystalizing blue, and that’s what I was so shocked at. He smiled at me sweetly.
“Nice to meet you Hailey. So I guess you’re squirt’s roomie?” Yasmin rolled her eyes at her brother’s comment.
“I’m not a squirt Matt. I’m only four minutes younger.” Yasmin argued at him. So they were twins. Obviously not identical, but still twins. And definitely NOT dating.....
“Hello....Earth to Hailey...” I snapped back into reality and answered Matt’s question.
“Yeahhh I am. Should I be warned of anything that she might do to me in my sleep?” I said with a flirty voice.
“Uhh not really. Just watch your food. Even when she’s on chemo, Yas can eat three times as much as me. Even though she’s still skinny, don’t let it fool you.” He answered. Yasmin looked at me with a devious grin and a twinkle in her eyes. I knew from that look that he was joking, and that this could be an interesting stay at the hospital.
About twenty minutes later, I was left alone with Yasmin in our room. We had both had our visitors and it was getting late. I got out of bed, brushed my teeth, and got back into bed. Yasmin and I said goodnight to eachother, the nurses double checked our IVs and we both rolled over and went to sleep.
I slowly drifted off. It took a while, considering the IV machines were beeping constantly. Yasmin also kept tossing and turning. It took a good hour, and once I was asleep I was out cold. That is, until I heard a loud buzzing noise and people moving quickly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Wha,wha,what’s going on?” I stammered as I fell out of bed.
“Fire apparently. We gotta get out of here, fast. Follow me, and make sure to grab your IV so you don’t have it yank out.” Yasmin answered.
I followed her out of our room, and down the hall. We got to a ramp, went down it(next to the stairs), and ended up in the cafeteria. We got down there, and there was a boy who had fallen down. I quickly made my way over to him and helped him up. He grabbed onto his walker and kept hobbling towards the exit.
After we got outside, we all huddled in a group. I saw no smoke, but I head the fire engines. I caught up with Yasmin and we just stood there. The boy, who had fallen down, came over with us.
“Hey, thanks for helping me up back there. I thought I’d be trampled.” he said, short of breath.
“No problem. I’m Hailey, and this is my roommate Yasmin.” I nodded over at Yasmin, who got this grin on her face when he smiled at her..not the ‘nice to meet you’ grin, but a ‘oooh you’re cute’ grin.
“I’m Chester, nice to meet you Hailey. And you too Yasmin.”
We stood there a little longer, finally we were allowed back in, after the firetrucks came and left. We got back to our rooms, and the PA system was blaring.
“Patients of the hospital : there indeed was a fire, but it was put out before the firetrucks got here. We evacuated you just incase it did indeed spread, or if it got towards the oxygen tanks. Thank you for evacuating so quickly and efficiently. Goodnight.” And it went off. I was slowly drifting back to sleep, still half shocked at what had happened.
I woke up in the morning to the sun shining brightly in my face through our window. The morning nurses came in with our medications and we were given our breakfast. I had chemo at eleven, it was only eight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Midway through our breakfast, Yasmin and I were interrupted with a knock at the door. We looked up to see Chester at our doorframe.
“Hey guys...mind if I visit? It’s lonely in my room and I hoped you’d want some company.”
“Sure thing.” I said.
“Of course!”Yasmin said,blushing. “We’d love to have you visit us.”
Chester was in an electric wheelchair today, and he buzzed himself into our room. He parked himself between my bed and Yasmin’s bed. He smiled at her, and she blushed even more, which made him blush. They were so cute, -they must like eachother-, I thought to myself.
“So Chester, what are you in for?” Yasmin asked.
“Arthritis. It’s really bad, days like today, I can barely walk.” He said. Yasmin nodded and they continued talking. I kind of zoned the two of them out. Before I knew, it was eleven. Adrien showed up at my door, with a wheelchair(not electric), and wheeled me down to the chemo room. I wasn’t alone today though. There was another girl. Her hair was pretty cool. It was brown, and had blonde and red highlights. She looked to be about ten or eleven.
“Jamie, this is Hailey.”Adrien introduced us. She set me up, and this time I knew what to expect from the chemo. I looked over at Jamie, and I smiled weekly. She spoke first.
“You know, it’s not that bad; the chemo I mean.”
“Ha....If you say so. It’ s my second day here.”
“Awh, that’s too bad. I’ve been here for a few weeks. They’re letting me out tomorrow, and then I’ll just be an outpatient. They say for a twelve year old, I’m doing very good with the sickness and chemo. I haven’t even lost my hair-”she stopped to point to it “it’s all natural, even the highlights.”
Our conversation continued for a while, until her chemo was done. I was later taken back to my room, after throwing up twice, and losing all the appetite I had before the chemo.
~~~~~~
Adrien took me back to my room, and I was shocked to see a note on the mirror.
“Hailey, gone down to the cafeteria with Chester, it’s our form of a date. I hope he’ll ask me to be his girlfriend. I really like him. But anyways, back by three. - Yasmin”
I knew something was going to happen. I could tell they liked eachother. I curled up in my bed, it was only one thirty now, and it would be a while before she came back. I felt really still sick from the chemo, so I drifted off.
I must have been really out, because when I woke up, I had a new needle, and sitting at my bed was that girl from the chemo room. She wasn’t attached to anything, but was still in her hospital gown.
“Afternoon, sleepyhead.” she giggled.
“Hey...Jamie, right?” I said, still groggy.
“Yep. I got bored, and I asked the nurse to show me where you were. And then I sat here, it’s been almost an hour.”
“What time is it?” I asked.
“Well, it’s nearly three now.”Oh wow. Almost three? Yasmin should be back soon.
“Wow. So are you out of here tomorrow?”
“Yep. They decided I’m pretty much in remission. About a week left of outpatient, and one more screening before it’s determined. But I’ll be here, maybe I’ll visit you.” she was looking at me. “You know. You’re not too skinny looking. Or sick looking...were you like an athlete or something before you got sick?”
“Yeah. I was a gymnast. I mean, I still am. I hope anyways.” I never had really thought about gymnastics since I got in here. I really missed it. Although, the thought of throwing my body and twisting it made my stomach even sicker.
“Oh cool! I’m a cheerleader. I guess you could say I’m lucky, because I haven’t missed any cheering yet.”
“Really? That’s cool. So, do you have any siblings?” I figured, why not get to konw this girl, while waiting for the details of Yasmin’s ‘date’.
“Yep. I have a brother, his name’s Marcus. I’d have you hook up with him, but he doesn’t seem to be into girls.” well, that’s kind of good, I thought to myself. Considering I kind of wanted to hook up with Yasmin’s brother Matt.
We talked for a nother twenty minutes, and Yasmin walked back into the room, after hugging Chester goodbye. Jamie said goodbye, it was obvious that Yasmin had news.
“Hey, I’ll check in tomorrow, before I leave. You’ll beat this cancer, I could do it, so can you.”
“Kay, bye Jamie.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I looked up at Yasmin. Her face was glowing, she was smiling wicked wide.
“Okay, SPILL!!!”
“Well, here’s what happened.....”
Just as Yasmin was about to explain what had happened with Chester, we got a knock on the door.
“Hailey Gram?”
“Yeah..right here..who is it?” I replied. The voice was familiar, but I couldn’t put a face to a name.
“It’s Doctor Madison. May I come in?” I looked over at Yasmin. She shrugged and I told her it was okay to come in.
“Okay, Hailey. It’s been two days, and I’m willing to bet you want to know what’s happening to you.” she paused, I nodded. “Well, let me start by stating the obvious. You’re very sick, and your body isn’t able to fight it off like some type of cold. You actually have a disease called Leukemia. That means that inside of your body, your white blood cell counts are too high. It destroys your blood platelet counts. That slows down the clotting process-why your leg was bleeding and didn’t stop. It can also explain why you’ve been tired lately.” she paused in her speech to me about my sickness.
Leukemia. I have leukemia. Me, Hailey. Sixteen, blonde, gymnast. Friends, good in school. And I’ve got leukemia. How does that figure out right?
“Now, the chemo we have you on should help. We’re hoping to discharge you in about three to six weeks, depending on your reactions. On thursday, we’re going to take a sample of your marrow, to see how bad this really is. Starting next week you’ll have to go get CAT scans and MRIs to make sure it isn’t getting worse. Our hope is that you can get through this, and into remission, without having to worry about a bone marrow transplant. Any questions?” she asked innocently. Of course I have questions...how long will I live? Will I die? Will it come back? Instead, I looked over at Yasmin. I could see the tears in her eyes, and I shook my head no. Doctor Madison said goodbye, and left.
I could feel the tears in my eyes too. Yasmin and I were alike. Only hers had come back. Mine was brand new. Was I going to get it again too?
Yasmin slowly, and shakily made her way over to my bed and crawled in with me. She hugged me, and we both started sobbing. We both jumped when we heard the phone ringing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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