She Only Knows

A resemblance of shattered patterns perversely forlorn,

The eyes are mine, the face is hers…

Staring at the reflection the hatred grows.

Her mind is one of severe strangulation,

Agonizing and foreboding, forever tormenting me from the inside.

Longing for the day my memory sets me free,

I shall continue to allow the past to forever haunt me.

Alas, she loathes me with righteous indignation,

But no one loathes my existence more than the reflection glaring back at me. 

Reviews

[alifeacoustic]

A wonderfully captured, haunting self perspective. As a sufferer of D.I.D. (dissociative identity disorder), I feel this every time I see myself in the mirror. The bewilderness at the person staring back at you being a stranger that at times feels incomprehensible to others, yet you describe it perfectly here.

[BrokenWingedPhoenix]

Thank you. I love how everyone can get something different from poetry. When I wrote this I was thinking about my bio-mom and how I hate that no matter how hard I try to not become her, when I look in the mirror I always see her face within mine. I understand D.I.D., I have bipolar II, ADHD, OCD, panic, anxiety, PTSD and unspecified personality disorder. I feel you, some days are easier than others.

[Elizabeth]

This is quite the haunting self portrait. The juxtaposition of selves is poignant and relatable.

[BrokenWingedPhoenix]

Thank you.

[Zugzwang]

I agree with alifeacoustic. this is a powerful and expressive snapshot of a particular kind of psychic pain that I found compelling and which resonated with me personally. I have suffered from suicidal depression and am well acquainted with self loathing. This poem also covers such a range of emotions and experiences in so few lines. It's really well crafted. Congrats.

[BrokenWingedPhoenix]

Thank you. I think we all struggle from time to time and depression knows exactly when and how to strike. I think it gets better, but occasionally that old friend likes to pay us visits; I only wish I was strong enough to keep it at bay.

[Zugzwang]

Yup. Writing for me is very cathartic...I expect it is for lots of people. My experience of depression is that it does what it wants and I have to make the best of it. Bad depression! Best of luck on your journey.

[BrokenWingedPhoenix]

Thank you, you as well.