Doubting Destiny

A Poem by Michelle Gent

A premonition

Doubting Destiny-

I couldn't have been any older
than thirteen or fourteen
When I walked across your backyard
Opened the gate to the dock
Closing the gate behind me

I looked on
As cousin Doug worked on Uncle Charlie's boat
Washing, scrubbing and hosing it down
The radio was playing "Dream Weaver"
I commented how I loved the song
I stopped only long enough
to read the words on the back of the boat
The Lovely M. named after you Aunt Marie

That's when the aah hah moment struck me
Stopping me in my tracks
Two names appeared conjoined
CharlieMaried in my head
I kept repeating it to myself
Trying to decode the mystery
I heard these names millions of times
Why now where they so significant ?
Perplexed I kept harassing you,
"Aunt Marie what does it mean?"
Creeped out you brushed me off
So I brushed it off never to think of it again

Until now twenty four years later
And nine months pregnant
Trying to decide on a name, racking my brain
Putting all sorts of combinations and nicknames together
When the two conjoined names came together I knew
Charlotte Marie, nickname Charlee CharlieMarie ring a bell?

A bread crumb trail was spread out before me
Throughout my entire pregnancy, but why?

The monitor reading *150 bpm (beats per minute)
The doctor telling me that falls under the range of girl
If you believe in that sort of thing
I wasn't convinced I was sure I was having a boy
I had a dream to that effect
After hearing the doctors revelation
I got in my car and turned on the radio
The very first song to play was "My Girl"

A few month later I was window shopping
Out of the corner of my eye I spotted Christening gowns
Having no ideas what they were doing in a nick knack store
I wandered over and thumbed through
Stopping at the most gorgeous one I looked inside for a price tag
Inside the label read, Charlotte

A few months after that my husband and I
Were invited to a Chinese auction
Though we put tickets into boxes for many various prizes
The one which we had won was a gift basket full of baby girl items

In retrospect the signs were in my face
But I was too afraid to acknowledge them
It was you and Uncle Charlie looking down from heaven
Reassuring me every step of the way
Letting me know everything was going to be O.K.