New Years Eve at the Funhouse

A Poem by Michelle Gent

Memories of childhood

New Years Eve at the Funhouse-

Never would a child complain when hearing
We're going over Aunt Mary and Uncle Franks house
Once there you were never bored
Young at heart and having three children of their own
They were two people who knew how to have fun

Their house was equipped with skeet ball machines
Slot machines, a Juke box and a pack man game
They lived on the water right next door to a beach club

So summers were a blast as well, it was a three ring circus
Uncle Frank being the clown lively and funny as hell
Aunt Mary the lion tamer and ring master
Running events with precision

Uncle Frank as I said was a comedian and inventor
Referred to us children in the know as Uncle Funny Man
Our very own Chittly Chitty Bang Bang philanthropist

And Aunt Mary the ring master never dropping the ball
or getting phased, played straight man to Uncle Franks quick wit
Yes everyday was a fun day at Aunt Mary's and Uncle Franks
But never more so than on New Years' Eve
The night of their Talent Show Spectacular the greatest show in Islip

Children practiced sometimes a whole year in advance
Bragging rights would have been good enough
But the pot was made sweeter by the lavish prizes via Spencer's gag gifts
Even the adults got in on the schtich

One year all the moms performed a Chorus line
Complete with top hats and canes to Frank Sinatra's New York
That quickly turned into a comedy act
When Aunt Mary accidentally knocked off my mom's (Toni) hat
And Aunt Dot accidentally kicked it across the room for a field goal

Another year brother Rick impersonated the unknown comic
From the Gong Show wearing a brown paper bag over his head
With holes cut out for eyes and mouth , screaming repeatedly
I'm gonna play my trumpet and the audience would shout back

Watcha gonna do? This went on for what seemed like 15 minutes
To build up suspense and when he finally did play
His trumpet it sounded like an elephant having an asthma attack
With coughing, sneezing and trumpet blast

Lora who was probably four years old at the time
Shook her hips from side to side for her whole dance number
With five or six spins thrown in and for her grand finale
She ended with a bunch of shimmies , she was adorable
When she got her prize she cried it was toilet paper with puzzles on it
Uncle Frank graciously replaced ti for her

For brother Jim's act he dressed in overalls and had a branch
That doubled for a fishing pole with a cheese doodle as bait
And he performed the Oscar Meyer Weiner commercial
Singing the jingle, "My bologna has a first name"
Us kids thought it was ingenious

Another year Lisa, Michelle (me) and Lora
Dressed up as cats and did the "Stray Cat Strut"
I have to say it was the most amazing act of the century!

And Henry and David who were hugely into wrestling at the time
And who were like the to amigos growing up
Performed a WWF wrestling act pretending to kick
slap, choke and slam one another to the ground

Some prankster throughout the night would try to pull you off the stage
With a hooked cane, 9 out of 10 times it was Uncle Franck
But when you run the show and look like Grouch Marx, it's all in good fun
The party would go on into the wee hours of the morning
And when you're having that much fun really who gets tired anyway