(A Hum of Lavender) Reaching for the Sky

For My Mum, Uncle John and Auntie Sue

The Sky looking knowingly down

                on what once was

                on what is to be

A blue diamond casting its light

Black coal, veiling its night

 

As she looked to that sky

Hesitation consumed her

Like a vortex, a vacuum

Confidence ebbed and dropped low

But her curiosity had swelled

Just enough to intrigue her

To tempt her, to tantalise her

                To finally know

 

And so, fighting her way through the wind and the rain

Gusts whipping and punishing her face

A Summer’s sky, reaching for Autumn too early

The seasons battling, as if in some kind of race

 

A lilac sky

                grey and cool

The lavender finally giving way

                to the inevitable

                floating away

 

But to get to this place

There has been no race

Reluctance

The unknown

Sometimes a tear

Octobers’ winds, withholding the late Summers’ sun

And for her self-preservation

The need to save face

Their underlies, like a hidden memory

                her fear

 

As the meeting place loomed above

                peculiar and dark

Its black timbers, crumbling and ashen

                Like burnt embers, burnt bark

She starred, wide eyed

Prey, blinded in the light

And felt that black cloud

                again

Casting its shadow

Turning day to night

 

Atop of this building

Reaching up toward the sky

Stood nobly, a statue

                Looking down, from up high

Her purpose, now lost

To history, to legend

Or for whichever you chose

The sign she needs her to send

Today, she will protect

                From any qualm, any query

And open her doors

Draw her in

Help her see clearly

               

An opening appeared

As if drawing her in

A sixty year wait

A glance behind….

No!

A step in…..

 

As she crossed over the threshold

                entering this place

Feeling it beckoning with a new urgency, a new pace

She wondered, what lies within?

But, there, there comes the doubt

Rejection

Not belonging

Those rivals she had never been without

 

What is to be loved, to be loved by a mother?

From whose womb once was born

                Is it the same as any other?

That vessel that carried her and born her to this place

Is all that she had known, of that mother,

                A mother with no face

 

What other kind of love, could anyone wish for?

A fathers, a husbands, her children’s, she was sure

But for her, there was one kind

And it wasn’t of a mother

For her, all she had wanted

Was the love of a brother

 

Before she could withdraw

The bartender ushered her in

To a room

Its warm glow

Accepting her in

 

And so she sat nervous, anxious, alone

Embers glowed

Thawing her face

The lavender drifting

Losing its race

                to a turquoise sky

Forcing that black cloud

Once casting its shadow

                to disperse, to die

 

Looking down at the scene

Only she and the sky could have known

Not only what was to be

But what before had been

 

Behind those molten brown eyes

                glinting, like amber fused with the bark of its allies

                the trees

Was the knowing of how it had been

Not to be wanted

Never to be seen

 

At least, that’s as she had thought

The scarred past

A conjured story

How else to make sense of it all

To hide the pain

                the sense of belonging she had always sought

 

Then,

                before there was time

                to escape, run, to hide

A stranger appeared

Looking dapper and fine

With a tear in his eye

                beaming a smile to light a night’s sky

“Sister” he said

                he cried

 

Before they could speak

                To hug, look, unravel the mystique

The door opened again, with a low soft creak

Making her way through

Another stranger, a woman

A new face, but familiar too

Two sisters stood and stared

Unsaid thoughts equally shared

As if these past sixty years

Were not long gone, they were here

 

Two sets of arms draped around her

Encasing her in warmth

Like an old favourite blanket

The storm outside a distant memory

Whilst a new story developed, a new scene, a new outset

 

As three sets of amber eyes glistened

                in the glow of that place

And the summer sky radiated

Finally winning its race

She felt the warmth

And the love

Of a new familial embrace

 

As the protector looked down

The sun shimmered against her sword

                The apex now pointed upwards

                To the summers skies and its sounds

To reach for the sky is to reach for its knowledge

                it’s all knowing

                it’s insight

                it’s mysteries of the night

to be a hum of lavender, floating in the sky

Is to be born, is to live, is to fly