The smoker's side

I smoke,

not to be cool,

not to fit in,

not to better anyone else,

I smoke because of pain,

the feeling of being torn,

and have something missing,

when I smoke,

I focus on the cigerette,

smoking it,

breathing the smoke in and out,

getting the buzz,

the high,

then my brain drowns everything out,

10,

20,

30 minutes,

just to return back to the pain,

I wish their were better ways,

but i know why people smoke,

why people choose to kill themselves smoking,

because once they light that cigarette,

nothing else matters,

because they have their serenity

Author's Note

give me feed back

Reviews

[None]

Your honesty makes this poem so good. About quiting...I would suggest reading a book on self-esteem and loving yourself, putting yourself first. Then I would listen to a book on CD in the car about your health, your lungs. I would then go to the local hospital and sit by the emergency room entrance. I would watch all the people coming in on stretchers with oxygen masks who can't breath, many because of smoking when they were younger. If you ever see someone get intubated and are gasping for air the smell of smoke would make you sick. Yeah, I quit when I was 24 yrs. old so this year will be about the same free of smoking. I speak from experience, because I care.
I'm not sorry for going on either. lol. Very good poem! I would like to see a sequel to this someday.

[John A. McColley]

In the end, this struggle isn't about smoking, and it's not only relevant to smokers. It's about the malaise of life, how it's a drudge, a gray place we can only try to light up with a smoldering orange nib like a pen with which we write our own destiny. As you say "they have their serenity," they have taken control of their happiness, no matter the consequence, no matter the looks they draw from others. It's an act of control, something we have a visceral understanding, if not a fully conscious one, that we lack in every day life. This, at least, this asp we hold to our breast is our choice. I get a full sense of this understanding form this piece. Thank you.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is really something with which I can relate myself to.
I was once a very heavy smoker but then fortunately things have been changed for me :)
This is indeed a very interesting piece of writing, which has been very well penned!
Great work.

[Sorry Infamous]

An interesting look into addiction.
I only with you would use some form of punctuation. It gives your poem an unfinished look and I think takes away from the meaning of the artful words you portray

[Angelic Darkness]

I got a request from Cyntax to read this...and I have to say I can
empathize with you. I smoke myself. I believe I do it because I get bored,
nervous. I know I will have to quit for my health though. AD

[C.T. Bailey]

I once smoked for 13 years. Started when I was in college. Yes, your words are dead-on. This is a good write. I can tell that your well of thought is realling starting to overflow with creativity. Good job...keep'm comin'

Todd

[☮]

Amen to this. I've been an on and off smoker for a long time. And that cigarette provides me my own moment and my own time. My own serenity. What a horrible way to get serenity, but I understand. And now I want one...

Nice write. Smoking can be extremely poetic.

[Anata]

ah indeed ....

being a smoker myself i can relate to what you are saying, though i find that you have some sort of transition along the way.

i started smoking for the exact reason you describe here so beautifully, but now ... now i do tend to still have those moments, but am more likely to smoke as a habit. Sometimes i can hold my cig between my fingers for hours before realising i didn't even light it....

But you portray here something i think every smoker goes through, and most likely the one cause why people have such trouble to stop.