fire

rain,

today it rains,

something,

something in the air,

i can smell it,

what could it be,

i smelled before,

fire,

i run like hell,

there it is,

what to do,

someone is trapped,

no help to be seen,

floor by floor,

its collapsing,

what to do,

 i must let go of my fear,

for if i dont,

she may not live,

i storm the door,

it feels like an oven,

got to keep moving,

i run up the stairs,

things are looking bad,

the ceiling about to collapse,

got to keep moving,

losing air,

cant breath,

im here,

on the forth floor,

but the door is blocked,

got to think,

not much time,

i punch though the wall,

ripping though the wall i plead to god for time,

more time,

i jump though the hole,

there she is passed out,

i throw her over my shoulder,

and begin to back track,

got to keep moving,

have to fight to stay awake,

my sight beginning to blur,

i hear a crack,

wood,

falls and cuts my face,

i fall to the ground,

but i remember why i came in here,

i have to save her life,

finally i get outside,

put her down,

she's not breathing,

what to do,

i breath in to her,

she begins to cough,

signs of life,

i give her to the medics,

they say she will be fine,

they patch me up,

they begin talking to me,

telling me how brave and stupid i am,

i thanked god for he had give me my courage,

my strength,

and my will

 

Author's Note

tell me what you think

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

she's not breathing,
what to do,
i breath in to her,
she begins to cough,
signs of life,
telling me how brave and stupid i am,
i thanked god for he had give me my courage,
my strength,
and my will
this wonderful ,this is so human ,she did not breather ,you breathed into her mouth,and there she was alive,you just saved a life my friend ,the biggest most wonderful thing we can ever do in our life,to bring someone alive from the dead,so they tell you brave and stupid,i am sure they would say that,cuase so little they know ,and you are so gifted to know lots more ,wonderful writing,you give such wonderful feelings when i read you

[Pakino]

Good showing the struggle.

[SamBug]

this was great. I just wanna say welcome to my group. Please review stories and poems from your fellow group memebers. Great poem. I loved it. Keep writing and don't forget to submit it to our group. Hope to read more. :)

[Xfaerie corpseX]

holy frick. i loved it. i was hooked the whole way through!

nice work

[C.T. Bailey]

Hey Mike,
Your still getting better. This one kept me on the edge of my seat. Your imagery was very good. It was as if you took me with you on the rescue. Some grammar issues here and there...but the way the poem is written, it could be your license as well. A spelling error...ceiling. I like the way you stay true to your style. This was a good topical deviation for you and an interesting subject. Well done sir!
Todd

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

An excellent poem. True story? If so you are truly a hero, if not you have shown us the compassion of a poet and that there are people that will put their lives on the line for others and not think of their own. If this is true and I hope that it is not, my prayers to you and to her. Thank you for sharing. Debileah