What Can Crack Do For You?

A breakdown of one of the most iconic rap songs of all time and how it applies to new business ventures and corporations alike.

What can Crack do for You?           

 

I’ve been in this game for years, it made me an animal. It’s rules to this s"t, I made me a manual. A step by step booklet for you to get your game on track, not your wig pushed back.

 

            Alright, so I haven’t been in “this game” for years”. I’m a second year business student with a concentration in marketing. I’ve also held plenty of jobs in plenty of industries and I’ve worked for some substantially successful people. Unlike most teenagers working part time jobs, I was always in it for more than a paycheck. I’ve had a hunger for success and I spent as much time as I could talking with my managers and learning by their examples. I realized from a young age that emulating the actions of successful businessman would give me a running start towards becoming my own version of them.

            Wouldn’t it be great if someone could just spell out the keys to being successful in small business, or even corporate America? I mean, it must be so difficult and time consuming (even risky) to learn all of the tricks of the trade on your own. Would you believe me if I said much could be learned by an iconic rap song by the late Biggie Smalls? Probably not.

 

Rule number uno, never let no one know how much dough you hold cause you know the cheddar breed jealousy…

 

The first rule: be modest. We live in a society where, for some unbeknownst reason, money and status is admired by those who’ve achieved it by means of athletic ability or the performing arts. Quite contrarily, those who have achieved the same wealth and status by means of education and any number of career paths are viewed as “greedy”. Alas, the saying holds true “if ya can’t beat em..join em”. The opinions of the American public simply aren’t going to change overnight. Nor is your “rags to riches” story going to sway the opinions in your favor. However, being modest will pave the way for trusting and intimate relationships with your clients and consumers.

I’m not advising against buying the house on the hill, or investing in the luxury car of your dreams, if you have earned the money, you deserve to spend it as you wish. However, don’t show off how much money you have. Don’t speak about it among others, especially those who may be offended. Humility is a true virtue, and much respect is had by the man who has all but need not tell others.

 

Number two: never let ‘em know your next move. Don’t you know bad boys move in silence and violence?

 

            Knowledge is truly power: as the fictional executive Don Draper pointed out in the hit show Mad Men, never give out knowledge unless it benefits you. Otherwise, you can merely hurt yourself. The only thing someone else can do with your knowledge is, at best, use it to further their own career, and at worst, use it to destroy yours. Letting someone else in on one of your trade secrets only allows them to use it for themselves, so unless your intention is to take someone under your wing and guide them, don’t share your secrets. This goes for that great new idea you had as well. If it truly is a revolutionary idea, the person you tell will most likely love to take it as their own and rake in the millions that should have been yours.

 

 

 Number three: never trust nobody. Your moms will set that a"up, properly gassed up.

 

We live in some sorry times. A handshake doesn’t mean what it used to. For that reason we need to draft written contracts for every minor transaction (right down to receipts in retail stores). It is also the reason there is a court case involving intellectual property (refer to rule two) making headlines in the business section every week. People must earn your trust. The business world is run on the philosophy of guilty until proven innocent. So until someone earns your unquestionable trust, believe not a word they say. And even then hold your suspicions.

 

Rule number four, I know you heard this before, never get high on your own supply

 

Keep your business’ assets separate from your personal assets. If the electric bill is a bit overdue, it truly isn’t worth it to reach into your company’s piggy bank. Mixing personal and business finances is a recipe for disaster. Furthermore, using many of the unethical practices available at your disposal to line your own pockets eventually leads to repeats of the fall of Enron and countless small businesses head by greedy men and women.

 

Number five: Never sell no crack where you rest at, I don’t care if they want an ounce tell ‘em bounce

 

Alright this one is a little tricky. There is nothing wrong with running a business out of your home. If I had a nickel for every time a major company was founded out of someone’s garage, well, I’d probably have at least enough to take that cute girl out to dinner. However, don’t be afraid to branch out. Life is full of risks, and the only way to expand and grow into your dreams is to take risks. Our culture is paralyzed by fears both actual and perceived. We constantly worry about what would happen if X, Y, or Z happened tomorrow. Stop worrying so much. If your company has flourished to where you can justify moving out of the garage and into a warehouse, you probably owe it to yourself to make the move. There is an excellent book by a man I highly respect written on the subject of evaluating and taking calculated risks. It is entitled “Take the Risk” by Dr. Benjamin Carson. I would recommend the short and easy read for anyone interested in expanding their business or even their personal life.

 

Number six: That G----n credit? Dead it.

 

Be careful who you offer accounts payable to. Offering a good or service in exchange for a promise to pay back at a future date can fall on some very thin ice. Similarly, be very cautious in who you offer payment to before you receive a good or service in exchange. Especially in our economy, businesses are packing up faster than a 10^th grade science class five minutes before the bell rings. This goes in line with rule number three as well. Again, people must earn your trust, just as you must earn theirs.

 

Seven: this is so underrated, keep your family and your business completely separated

 

Honestly, I can’t say it any better than that. Family and money is a recipe for disaster. Don’t believe me? Watch what happens when your great Aunt Dottie passes away without a will.

 

 

Number eight, never keep no weight on you. Them cats that that squeeze your guns can hold jums too

 

Leave the office at the office. There is no need to carry the weight of your daily stresses home with you. Similarly, there is no need to bear the weight of the business on your own shoulders. At the end of each day, take the time to unwind on your way home and greet your family, your roommate, or your 17 cats (I don’t judge) with a smile and a pleasant attitude. The problems will be there tomorrow and worrying about them all night will not make them any lesser. Additionally, if your problems are big enough that you cannot handle them yourself, your business is probably big enough that you can hire some help. If you are a landscaper with 20 lawn contracts but you can only mow 15 each week by yourself, you will quickly fall behind and upset many loyal customers. It is beneficial to give that pimple faced kid next door an employment opportunity. Besides, odds are you were once in the position where you needed a job, and someone hired you. Return the favor. Who says the trickle-down theory doesn’t work?

 

Number nine shoulda been number one to me: if you ain’t getting bagged stay the f"k from police

 

To us, police are our friends and our protectors. To a speeding driver, and especially to a criminal, they are the enemy. We in the business world have enemies too. Frequently socializing with your competition gives those snake like business men prime opportunities to steal ideas from you. Be cordial, be courteous, even be friends, but realize anything you do or say can and will be used against you in the next rat race for that big account.

 

Number ten, a strong word called consignment. Strictly for live men, not for freshman. If you ain’t got the clientele say h"l no, cause they gon’ want their money rain, sleet, hail, snow.

 

Don’t invest more than you can reasonably expect to see returns on. Don’t get too big for your britches. Be patient, the opportunities will come. The landscaper with the pimple faced employee and a small number of jobs can make due with a riding lawn mower, a push mower, a couple weed whackers, and some small hand tools. They have no need for a John Deere 4255 with a 10 foot brush hog attachment. They need not the newest model Caterpillar bulldozer. Now, if they see that their clientele is desiring large fields to be brush hogged routinely, or that their business is shifting from yard maintenance to site work, this may be a smart investment. However, until you are certain the business will benefit from it, don’t make large investments.

 

Follow these rules and you’ll have mad bread to break up, if not, 24 years on the wake up.

 

The truth is, so much of business is common sense that we often tend to overlook what is important in the fruitless search for what many to believe to be on par with the Theory of Relativity. Truthfully, it’s nothing more than the theory of reality. With a good idea, a little good karma, and a whole lot of common sense, a business is destined to flourish.

 

Gotta go, gotta go, more pies to bake up, word up.