Different Love

a poem on how love can be decieving

She would joke

And he would laugh

He spoke

Something daft

He was her half

He made her whole

But the photograph

Exposed her soul

She wished love

Like in the books

She asked god above

Alas she had no good looks

She said it was her fault

She was to blame

This act of assault?

Ruined her name

She had to leave him

But she had no other

She committed this sin

What was another

The only escape

From these linoleum roses

Was the noose she would drape

Across her neck and shoulders

Reviews

[Shy_muse]

This is a very powerful poem. I loved the beginning of it and the end definitely caught me off guard. I don't know what I was expecting, but what I was not expecting "Was the noose she would drape". Great poem. Your rhyme scheme was a bit off?? Or possibly forced?? The first, second and last stanza were great though! Keep up the good work... I loved it!! < 3

[Cobblestone Traveler]

Very strong and haunting poem. Your "linoleum roses" really struck me an an interesting term. Terrific line. Thank you for entering my Forbidden Love Contest!

[V]

I agree on love can be deceiving and I could clearly relate to your first two stanzas but somehow the word use changed in your poem in the following ones and I had difficulties to understand what you actually wanted to say. I also think your rhyme scheme reads kind of forced, I think it's always better to write down what you feel and let yourself really dive into the mood so that the words flow out and almost automatically create the pattern which is needed to express your mood and thoughts in this very moment. Other than that, I really like some certain expressions here like linoleum roses.

[Darian B.]

If I may, I believe that the word use change was, perhaps, intentional. If you notice, the first stanza and the second stanza (up until the end) was happy. It described the happy moments. And then, the photo changed that. Suddenly, the poem takes a dark turn and everything becomes a little less clear and a whole lot darker. It leaves the reader to begin to wonder a little bit more about what exactly happened. Sure, there was a photo with her and another guy, but how did it show up? What are the guys feelings? The vagueness created in the change of the word use, in my opinion, strengthens this poem. However, I do believe the rhyming in a few lines did come across as a little bit more forced than I am used to seeing from Jo. Overall though, this poem still speaks really strongly to me. Still really great work!

[V]

I guessed it was intentional but still not done in a satisfying way, at least to me but that's only my opinion.

[Darian B.]

I full heartedly respect your opinion. After all, what I said is merely my opinion as well. I think it is important to express constructive criticism when you can, because it helps poets grow, I just wanted to offer a different view on it. I hope I didn't come off as rude, if so I apologize

[V]

No you didn't, it's fine. I am glad you think this way, I always try to be as constructive as possible.

[Michaela Moerke]

thank you for the review! i do notice how some of the rhyming does not flow as well
but the reason for the vagueness as this poem was a release for something that had been bothering me and yet is still to upsetting to completley explain, perhaps someday i will rewrite it better

[V]

I can totally relate to that. Just wanted to point out, I think constructive reviews, particularly the ones which also focus on negative points in one's writing are helpful and valuable in general.
You're welcome.