my "parents"

"john we talked about this we cant keep her. she'll be better off with with people who can take care of her and provide her with an actual future..." miss.smith is laying in a hospital bed holding me and talking to mr.smith. "i know but she just so perfect. and monica she looks just like you.." he looks sad but looks down on me loveingly. "she is perfect.." miss.smith looks down at me smileing "maybe in another time.. love i think i know what i would like to name her." he looks so happy. "monica. monica rose." his wife smile at him."i love it. maybe one day when shes older she'll come find us." she kisses me on the forehead. "monica we love you so much. you are the perfect.come find us someday." the nurse comes in and takes me. thats the last tie i saw the smith's

i spent 2 years in foster care with some lovely people and some horrible people. when i was 2 i was adopted by miss.carie and her husband danial. they are artists and we ive in this large house. they have are always here for me and they play with me all the time and its amazing. when i was 3 i told my mom

"hey mommie"

"yes momo?"

"i was alive befor you know?"

"really??what was it like??" she looked at me with playful intrest

"horrible. they were all so mean... then i died and then i was born."

"how did you die?you remember being born?" she looks at me with such amazement 

"i killed myself. i remember it all. i remember everything mommy." i started to cry

"sweetie you are so special. never forget that." she wiped my eyes and kissed my forhead  and thats the only time i ever said anything about it. after that i never talked about it again