The Classroom

When I was 11

I made love in your classroom

It was the first time for me

and not the first for you

I was a boy you see

I was willing to give

What you took from me

I was scared and so were you

but the sound of sirens didn't make me jump

I was a boy

who didn’t know

yet you came to me

and made a man of me

When I was 11

You took my virginity

The sound of bells on the hour

were the background to skin on skin

They were the clock to our sins

I am grown now

and the sounds of bells

bring me back to your classroom

There I am a boy becoming a man

There you became a part of me

Now I am 30

I make love in my own bedroom

and the sounds of bells still get to me

it was the squeaking of chairs

and scratches on chalkboards

that are the sounds of my PTSD

When it got awkward

I felt trapped by you

The thumbs ups

and congratulatories by my classmates

couldn't hide the wrong I felt

“teacher's pet”

couldn’t properly describe my cage

I was “lucky” to get it so young

The wise sex guru to all who asked

a master among my class…

but that didn't last

when I was 11

I was raped in your classroom

You took advantage of my naivety

I was the victim of your depravity

I can still hear the bells

the clock to our sins

skin on skin

and the sirens as they took you in

Reviews

[girlandpen]

thank you. I truly love how writing is a way to speak out and a method through which to express memories and emotions, no matter how painful they may be. very raw emotion, wonderful job

[DTH3602]

It's sad really, how people have to go through something like this and how people could even think of doing something like this, especially to children. Thank you, miahstr, for sharing. We appreciate your input. Not to mention your knack for poetry. To sum it up, a very well written, yet sad reality.

[A Soap Mess Stories]

Such raw emotion, yet you felt helpless at such a tender age. Nicely penned.

[Great Aunt Astri]

You write this with such feeling. Yes, the terrible thing is, it happens to boys too. And the trouble is, it can't be undone. It is not good that those bells keep sounding. Perhaps you can now let them go with the sirens, 'as they took you in.' Good for you for writing this clever poem.

[miahstr]

Thanks Astri

[Adam Light]

Thanks for sharing. Your story matters. It's well-told.

[miahstr]

I ran across a post today about a teacher who had sex with students.. and in the comments they were joking about "man I wish my teacher did this" which de-emphasizes the victims... just because boys grow up to want to have sex doesnt mean that they cant be raped... This poem was meant to bring the victim perspective to the forefront.

[AcasualPawn]

You are correct there aremany incidents. I knew one in which 4 girls kidnapped and raped a guy ib Pakistan..

[miahstr]

Thats pretty horrible...

[AcasualPawn]

Ya for some people