understanding

i have no words for you today

my mind is blank

i try to write

to connect with you 

but i cant....

i pause to say something

but the words are repeated constantly

so i have no words

i am a teenager

young

dumb

self aware

trying to fit the image

its not working though....

i want a baby but cant seem to conceive one

i guess im not fit to be a mother

i have a dark side

as does every one else

but mine has to do with men

my friend says its trust issues but i think deep down its a sick enjoyment to see them in pain

who knows...

I've changed

i'm stuck on one person now

hes interesting

a lot of layers

he is beautiful in his own manly way

he makes acceptations for me 

which is odd

usually i keep looking for someone better but i don't think i can find someone as amazing as him....

i live through electronics

i fall in love with the idea of love

i have time but at the same time i don't i could die right now form breathing 

i hope these words are enough

not for you but for me

i want to be selfish once in a while

i guess in some ways i am 

the way i talk is carefully worded

im a people watcher

in someways that makes me patent 

in other ways it makes me weak

but i dont care

i love to watch