The Way Of Dishonor (And Redemption)

My very first attempt at haiku writing. This is about the sad life of the Ronin in feudal seventeenth-century Japan...

The Way Of Dishonor (And Redemption)

Shame clouds the dark skies

Dishonor stains where I tread

I am too far gone. 

Rain falls with such pain

Blossoms tarnished by my deeds

I am on my own. 

My blades held aloft

Towards fading light so far

I shall not be saved. 

Blossom petals fall

Dying light shining from streams

Crash upon the graves. 

Fields of the fallen

Far beyond the Sundered Realm

Hear the black wind's song. 

Many more like me

Embracing the call to arms

Beyond mountains high. 

Katana raised high

I shall answer the strong call

Upon my honor gone. 

On ancestors past

Upon my ryus so strong

Glory shall be mine. 

Author's Note

Image taken from Wikipedia
The image is of Miyamoto Musashi, one of the most famous ronin that ever lived.
For those who don't know, when a samurai's master had died or was defamed, a samurai had to commit honorary hara-kiri ceremonial suicide. Those who did not became ronin, master-less samurai, and were viewed with great dishonor.
If you don't like explanations then you may want to omit this paragraph.
This haiku story is based loosely after the battle of Sekigahara in 1600, where many samurai on the losing side became ronin. This battle was also called the Battle for the Sundered Realm. Eventually over a hundred thousand ronin went to fight at the Siege of Osaka. I'm writing from a ronin who's eager to regain his honor at the siege...
Tell me if I should write one for the Shoguns!

Reviews

[Norma M Sutton]

Nicely done.

[sarah]

This is wonderful great work!

[Aimee Mahathy]

Ooooh, I loved this! :D First, it kind of reminded me of WoW, but your author's note really clarified it for me. I love anything to do with Japan, so this was a real treat!
Thanks for sharing! :D

[Kelsie Eileen Stark]

This reminds me of a war poem....great job!!

[GamingGal]

Pros: I've never read much in the Haiku area, nor do I know much of the Japanese culture. Although, I have heard of samurai and ronin. Never of this battle, though. Either way, the lack of understanding the history doesn't hinder anything here. The haiku flows really well and tells its story perfectly.

Cons: None.

Overall: I like this, and think you should most definitely write one for the Shoguns. I'd read it :)

[Arsenic Nemesis]

Nice imagery in this, wonderful, well written and structured, great job, keep it up~

[Hello, Goodbye]

Very interesting capsules of thought..

[Sarah McConnaughey]

This is so beautiful! I can closely relate to the first two verses. You should definitely write more.

[Bridget Mcmaken]

wow this is very good and has a nice flow. Yes you should write more!

[A]

This is so good! Really magnificent poem