The Way Of Dishonor (And Redemption)

My very first attempt at haiku writing. This is about the sad life of the Ronin in feudal seventeenth-century Japan...

The Way Of Dishonor (And Redemption)

Shame clouds the dark skies

Dishonor stains where I tread

I am too far gone. 

Rain falls with such pain

Blossoms tarnished by my deeds

I am on my own. 

My blades held aloft

Towards fading light so far

I shall not be saved. 

Blossom petals fall

Dying light shining from streams

Crash upon the graves. 

Fields of the fallen

Far beyond the Sundered Realm

Hear the black wind's song. 

Many more like me

Embracing the call to arms

Beyond mountains high. 

Katana raised high

I shall answer the strong call

Upon my honor gone. 

On ancestors past

Upon my ryus so strong

Glory shall be mine. 

Author's Note

Image taken from Wikipedia
The image is of Miyamoto Musashi, one of the most famous ronin that ever lived.
For those who don't know, when a samurai's master had died or was defamed, a samurai had to commit honorary hara-kiri ceremonial suicide. Those who did not became ronin, master-less samurai, and were viewed with great dishonor.
If you don't like explanations then you may want to omit this paragraph.
This haiku story is based loosely after the battle of Sekigahara in 1600, where many samurai on the losing side became ronin. This battle was also called the Battle for the Sundered Realm. Eventually over a hundred thousand ronin went to fight at the Siege of Osaka. I'm writing from a ronin who's eager to regain his honor at the siege...
Tell me if I should write one for the Shoguns!

Reviews

[Ice QueenJen]

This was a very good writing and kind of like a condensed story. This is something many people don't really know about so its good that you give some historical background for the writing. Please keep on writing about the culture, and yes do one for the Shoguns- I think it would be interesting to read.

[Suzuki Writes]

Loved the powerful ending, lovely description

[akapr17other]

I agree with PrincessZeldaWannabe, I thought it was very powerful. You did a great job!

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

Really powerful! Great work!

[Hippy]

sounds cool a story through haiku, i thikn they are actually supposed to describe something in nature but whatever works its poetry neway

[HorrorMaster]

I like it very good :)

[Sarusai Hiryu]

Dishonour and the longing for redemption. Wonderfully expressed and poignant ... though I don't usually like Hakus

[A.Lee]

This is beautiful. I could tell what you were describing before I read your description at the top, which is good. You painted the picture beautifully. And great work for your first time doing Haiku's. I couldn't even tell that you were new to it.

[Bandgeek]

Yeahh u should I think I no wat shoguns r. But u should do it. U r amazing at this writing. I can't believ this was ur frst haiku

[AloysiaVerben]

Good. I can't belive that it's your first haiku. It's very good. The explanation was good.