Darkened Room

A song/poem about a criminal regretting his actions.

 

Darkened Room

Can you change all that you said?

‘Cos there’s nothing I can do

And all my hope is dead

Look back at what I’ve lost

Nothing’s complete

 

Can you fix all that I frayed?

‘Cos there’s only bitterness inside

And nothing’s going right again

Look back at the forming frost

Just let me bleed

 

For my own life

For me and you

Let it all never be said again

‘Cos I just can’t break all the chains

 

Over the darkened room

I feel the wounds I caused you

All the wrong I’ve done

Gonna start anew

Over the shining moon

The only light I can ever find

And now I know

I’ve finally made up my mind

So I’ll let go of the past

In this darkened room at last

 

I know I deserve more than this

And girl, I don’t deserve your kiss

Think back to a time too far gone

Nothing’s all right

 

I know how I screwed things all up

But now I know just how to make it all up

Think back to the night when we met

Before the light

 

For the last time

To make it through

Wonder if you’ll take me back again

‘Cos I just can’t erase the pain

 

Over the darkened room

I feel the wounds I caused you

All the wrong I’ve done

Gonna start anew

Over the shining moon

The only light I can ever find

And now I know

I’ve finally made up my mind

So I’ll let go of the past

In this darkened room at last

 

See what I’ve done

Now that I’m gone

Do you welcome me back

When I come home

 

Waiting all alone

In this darkened room

Staring at the night

At the shining moon

 

Will you still take me back?

Will you still take me back?

Will you still take me back?

Reviews

[Kanattas Atir Enomo]

this is a great poem. i can imagine it as a song. if only i knew how the tune went. XD it's true though, many of us wish we could go back and fix our mistakes. i like the wording and message in this. "I know I deserve more than this
And girl, I don’t deserve your kiss" he deserves more? that line i dont quite get, but it could just be me overall good job.

[Senseless whatever]

Pretty good write. Works well as a song. I hiccuped at a few spots initially, interruptions in the rhythm, but it was probably me.

[Emily]

Very nice piece. The flow is very nice and the whole feel of the work is very touching. There are so many people who would love to have someone who has hurt them come back and say that they are sorry.

Beautiful piece!

[Bobbiegirl]

a moving heartfelt piece, I think it might also make a good song. Well worked and flows nice.

[sadjgrey]

nice, keep up the good work

[Jenny Nelson]

Ah yes, all the regret and remorse that get shed in a darkened room- great title. Definitely conveyed your feelings well and the write was heartfelt and easy to follow. I think the repetition at the end adds to the strength of the emotion in the piece. Nice job!

[Holly]

it's easy to read this one because the words flow nice and there is a clear sense of what you might be trying to portray with your word's.