Suffer Again Part 1

The first part of my anti-war rap. Tell me what you think and look out for the next parts!

 Suffer Again Part 1

So the first thing you tell me is what did they do?

What did they do to people like you?

Burning, looting, destroying their lands

You think we can’t see the blood on your hands?

So tell me, who wins in this war

When the only prize is bloodshed and gore

Stand up tall and fight for your rights

But the soldiers will all have sleepless nights

When they think about what they’ve done

Killing fathers, uncles, nephews and sons

They may be enemies, like they said before

But what kind of soldier really likes a war?

The artillery firing, come down like rain

But after the war, is anything gained?

When peace talks, negotiations all break down

Watch as hell breaks loose all around

 

For all this

Is it worth

To be killing them all

And for what cause

Suffer again

All in flames

To be losing it all

And watch as we all fall

Reviews

[Charles]

I hope you know by now that I'm a serious reviewer and not just a nit-picker (is that a word?). I think this poem adequately expressses your feelings about war, but there's not the passion that I see in some of your other efforts. I think I'd attribute this to absence of imagery beyond the rather common references to blood, death and so on. While the disruption of the form moving into the last stanza is perfectly axcceptable, I think (in this case) that it makes to stanza look like a tack-on (is that a word?). I like what you're saying and recommend to you a book by a soldier poet (Brian Turner) called Here Bullet. Brian's language and references to war are outstanding. Keep up the fine writing.

I've never been fond of war, and it astounds me that there have been long, raging battles with extreme amounts of blood and gore over herbs and spices, land, love, religion, and power. And over many more topics besides those, I suppose.
Great way of expressing your views on war and what we have going on in the world. Sometimes it seems incredibly pointless, a fruitless struggle, just a reason to provoke and show off. I don't think it's worth it.

[Flo]

A very moving write, very nicely done and well presented, nice flow and scheme too :D
I am somehow calm about this one, quite a lovable piece I must say
Good Job!
-Flo