A Promise in Your Eyes

A Promise in Your Eyes

A Poem by Michael
"

Every poet writes about the eyes. I think it is because we know they do more than see out, they allow others to see in.

"


I see a promise within your eyes
to beguile the deepest soul.
'Tis not a voice that makes this oath
it's your nature in control.

 

And wonderful hope your smile does hold,
and brightens the darkest day.
Even at times when storm clouds blow
it shows me a gentle way.

 

But it is your heart that shows me best
this someone I know you are.
I've always felt its special beat
be you near or distance far.

 

Lo, one has to see the simple truth
that beams from your soul and face -
there is more to you than beauty holds
put simply, your eyes hold grace.



© 2008 Michael


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Wonderful flow on this one. Overall I liked it, it pretty well done. There are a few somewhat juvinile words in the mix that im not too crazy about however, the one that stands out the most for me is in the last stanza, "your soul and face" . Changing the word face would improve this stanza i do believe. But of course that's just my suggestion, you can throw it on the floor if you like :)
Anyways. well done Michael. Thanks for sending me this request.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Wonderful flow on this one. Overall I liked it, it pretty well done. There are a few somewhat juvinile words in the mix that im not too crazy about however, the one that stands out the most for me is in the last stanza, "your soul and face" . Changing the word face would improve this stanza i do believe. But of course that's just my suggestion, you can throw it on the floor if you like :)
Anyways. well done Michael. Thanks for sending me this request.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ah yes, 'the windows to the soul'. A lovely poem. Truly a delight to read. Beautifully expressed. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha


Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oh, this is beautifully done. I wouldn't change a thing about this one. I hope it's truth and she's writing similar things about you... ;)
The eyes certainly do allow one to see in. There is a sort of contrast between the first line of this, and the first line of what I just posted that seemed like I didn't even write it, it was just there. I started with the eyes as well.
This makes me think of a certain pair of eyes and smile that simply seem to hold grace to me. This is going into my favorites, no doubt in my mind at all about that. Brilliant. And I don't just flip that word around. :)

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This was wonderful to read
The eyes can tell you a lot about a person
I really enjoyed this poem, thanks for sharing it Ray { Not a Poet }


Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 26, 2008
Last Updated on June 26, 2008

Author

Michael
Michael

Beaufort, SC



About
Winner of the 2007 Espy Award for light verse. My quote for life: "Poets my not change the world, but we do start the quiver in the snow that grows into the avalanche of change. That is enough f.. more..

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