So completely creative :) You really put your own thoughts and your heart into this, and it shows. These are more than any random thoughts, their true emotions, and emotion is what made your poem great. Your lines are unique, different, and purely you. It's often hard to come up with thoughts that seem to flow together so well, but you definitely did a great job doing exactly that. I enjoyed reading this very much! Keep up the great writing. A poem definitely worth reading.
when it came to the last line, that's when the poem became absolutely. . . powerful. I can't think of any other word.
It grabbed my heart and just pierced a knife through it. It was truly interesting to read. Keep up the good work.
"Running toward her recklessly
Fleeing from what once was
Destroying that which was built
Knowing nothing but her love."
..WoW--Nice emotive verse:-)
and the way you trick the mood a bit!!!
"Love escaped us once again
Resting flowers on her grave."
Jeeeeez----Awesome!!!
Great creative poetry!!!
Now THIS actually made me yearn for my boyfriend's presence. It's so sad, but I loved the words you used in this. The stanza:
"Memories of us tangled in youth
Years erased the passion that played
Lives evolve forgetting love
Finding comfort in today."
that just speaks to me beautifully. i LOVE that. it makes me feel like i did during my break up with the boyfriend i have now- we broke up for a day and it was agony to me because of the way i feel about him, and this reminded me of those feelings perfectly. but i LOVE that you were able to evoke that emotion in me! the words were amazing, and i loved the line "resting flowers on her grave" because that kind of made me rethink the poem that instead of her just leaving you, she passed on. it was so beautiful, i loved this poem. please keep up the good work! (:
I honestly thought this to be a break-up poem as I started reading, but it saddened me at the with, "Resting flowers on her grave."
I think that the lack of rhymes actually helps the poem. There are slight rhymes here and there and they really accentuate certain parts.
Feelings are much better expressed when one does not have to follow a specific foot and meter.
So completely creative :) You really put your own thoughts and your heart into this, and it shows. These are more than any random thoughts, their true emotions, and emotion is what made your poem great. Your lines are unique, different, and purely you. It's often hard to come up with thoughts that seem to flow together so well, but you definitely did a great job doing exactly that. I enjoyed reading this very much! Keep up the great writing. A poem definitely worth reading.
heartache in driver seat. awesome line. by far my favorite line. it seemed that some of your lines were onger to pronounce then others making it a bit choppy. but i liked the ideas and the visuals. good write
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