unpolished and unedited from the big blue book

unpolished and unedited from the big blue book - this is actually originally written on blue paper as well with pencil markings in it to put the breaks where i thought i could of make this a poem. it was at first a mass of sentences and one large block o

what is this that i now type out in the middle of the storm? What it is that i shall ignore and ignore in the moments of eternity.

 

the wonders of the travel and the swollen clouds that slide like sheet covers over my head/ i have lit this cigarette beneath the rain/ that snare drums its rhythm into my soul/ sixteen minutes into the countless void of time/ and for once in freeze frame stares i see the world floating around like a paper bag/

it is all a storm, surrounding every heart , kiss, hate, or love/

it is all a storm, filled with hail and torrents of ever changing pain/

all here in the golden eternity of nameless venture/ desire in the fire in the monument to libido / /

dreams go and flow and the world sits on an infant axis/

god is not outside us but just is us / the living and the decaying/ the never lived and the never died/

god is the choice of early spring and the fling of passion that arouses the finest in many/

the weakness in others/ cupids and stupids/

the father and mothers of unhappiness/

i need to stand naked next to the rain and swallow all of the pain of these mere moments/

gathering love of the senses/

glimpses and chances/

what class should stop - what reality should hinder --- smile --- kiss-- touch ---- sweat---

the short and patterned breaths of excitement/

the sky if it was anything other than an illusion of my mind - i wouldn't have said sky/

all an illusion of my pleasurable and unreal mind/ and you are unreal/

swirl of sound - resonating echo/

look how vivid and gray the storm is as the world and the hearts /

comfortable/

reliable/ stable and old/ living in the grand puzzle/

that has millions of faces and souls glued into perception/

ENOUGH/ i want lips that sing fire/ arms that hold tighter than laws or theory/

soft flesh steaming in the mist of a spring morn/

eyes more powerful than energy itself - sparkling in opulence and eternal intergrity /

a lover's soul with wisdom and irresponsibilty.

/

In search of the road you desire to find? stop for the night here. come quiet into bed, and let us whisper together in this lost void of living. there is blessedness surely to be here. There is something surely to cure the minutes  of all our "whats" "whos" "whys" and "wheres" - for now seek happiness not in plans - but in the intercourse of passion and mind - moment- holiness- the answer shines/ and just like the storm you are able / free/ to move on like a  manifestation/ like the storm/ like divinity/

like what you really are/

an angel here/

waiting for what you feel ///

look for "now" in the strength of one kiss....as it rolls downward/

slow ancient river running to the core of beginnings

Author's Note

this was written well..... perhaps in 2000 or in 1999, or ....but under the lip of a roof in kansas. a wet camel cigarette and the scribbles that became keys being punched like a best friend making out with your girl on a $1.50 well night. it never got edited or formed. so this is just as rough as it was back then. well it was even rougher then.