Reminiscence

Lost this and then found it again, past and lesson learned.

One conscience is a killer and the other one is dead,

but I don't fret, just gotta sit back, relax, and listen to the voices in my head.

It started with my hatred and turned into a mess

then comes isolation and emotional distress,

tried to turn around but I couldn't find where I came from,

turned the other way and there was no way to go,

forward or back?

Walk blindly off a cliff or return to a hopeless battle?

when it comes down to it no one gives a f**k,

when you're a pessimistic b*****d it kinda all sucks,

good oppurtunity? and what's this bullshit they call luck?

What happens when you hate too much, is you start to hate yourself,

when one part of you is stabbing and the other is bloody red.

You know one time I met this girl and this is what she said, 

"hey lonely kid, why so grim, why so shy? I'll go and turn your life around if you just give it one try"

Too bad I was desperate and foolish and didn't know this is where it lead,

"Sorry lonely kid, you're getting old, I'm done with this, I won't give you any closure cuz all I've got is bye".

Well f**k, more hate, alone again, and that is what I dread,

going crazy, developed hate, all over what wasn't even said.

Oh hey, nice to hear you again, menacing voice just chillin in my head,

took a hopeful path but guess where the f**k it lead

in a little misleading circle, not worth the tears shed.

But hey there was something won,

now I'm a little numb.

My sadness is stale;

Ironic, cuz stale is what I probably was to her,

and what her was to me was the first of one too many fails

but when it comes down to it, the f**k am I gonna do?

The past is the past, and regardless of how much you hate,

that s**t still happened.

And it taught me something, a few things, but one stands out,

In schools and fairy tales they tell you that love and hate are opposites;

maybe they are, but what matters is they sit right next to each other,

not so hard for them to turn into one another.

Who knows, maybe next is your mother, a significant other, or the one you thought was your closest m**********r.

You can't control another's emotions,

don't even try.

All you can control is your own,

so just don't hate yourself, cuz that's when you're truly alone.