A womans worth

Listen up closely, I’m talking to the boys

Why call girls B*****s and treat them all like toys

 

Why play with their emotions and think them to be fools

They’re human beings like you and me stop treating them like tools

 

Why take away their innocence and turn them out to freaks

Why walk away from what they say just listen to them speak

 

Why act so nice and innocent and get inside their head

When the only place you wanna be is tucked inside their beds

 

Se what you fail to understand and what you need to see

Is if it wasn’t for a woman son you wouldn’t be

 

So stop acting like animals who should be locked in cages

And stop being so immature begin to act your ages

A woman is a work of art a priceless piece that has no wreck

So if you’re smart you’ll listen up and treat all women with respect

 

Reviews

[Nykkiicia Cion]

do u really think so tho? or are u trying to be politically correct?

[VERONICA]

I loved the last two lines! They were great! Great message as well

I'd advise adding commas, colons, semicolons, periods etc. so it reads easier. because it takes a couple of times to understand "Why walk away from what they say just listen to them speak" Whereas "Why walk away from what they say? Just listen to them speak." reads much more easily. Doing that sort of stuff and weeding out some unnecessary words (i.e. "and treat them all like toys" -> "and treat them like toys") would really improve this piece.

Food for thought- "Why take away their innocence" obviously suggests all women are innocent. For me this line stands out against the feminist ideals in this poem. Do you view women as innocent? (or am I missing the context of this line). On that note innocent/innocence is repeated- a more diverse word choice would be refreshing.

And (I know; I just go on... and on...) also, personally I dislike rhyme. The rhyme in this poem worked incredibly well particularly in the first and last two lines. But think about the rhyme: Why did you choose to rhyme and what is it accomplishing?

Great job! Just edit it some more and it will be a REALLY strong and powerful piece filled with lots of heart which already shines through! Way to go! XD

[laceyjane23]

I absolutely love this poem!!! you did an awsome job on showcaseing just how wonderful women are!! i hope that lots of guys read this and realize what a woman's worth is!!!
keep on writing!!!
laceyjane