Absolutely Nothing

It was the summer of eighth grade
I lost my best friend
She just woke up one day and didn't care about me anymore
And I wonder how she saw me as
Absolutely nothing

It was on hot tar and gravel
That I felt the sweat of too much skin
I was too large to be loved
And I wished to be
Absolutely nothing

It was at the doctors office
That the two words " eating disorder" were mentioned
But I lied to the doctor and three questionnaires
Because I knew they'd try and stop me from my goal
Of Absolutely nothing

It is three years later
And I haven't stretched myself thin enough
But my mind is so consumed with numbers
I know for sure inside I really am
Absolutely nothing