unrequited

A Poem by merissakalei

I'm afraid to be strong.

I want to see you weak.

I want to see you mean.

I want to see you selfish.

I need to see a you that I can hate, so that I don’t have to live admiring your constant shadow.

I don’t want to see you inspire a generation, I can’t bear to see the cheers.

All you’ve inspired in me is a whole lot of love and even more tears.

I can’t bear to look at you when you’re happy, and I don’t want to hear about your great accomplishments. I want to see you rummaging the bottom of the barrel, but I know that even then I would still think that you’re perfect.

I’m not sure if distance is the best option

But it’s better than torturing myself by constantly being in your presence.

I can’t afford to see you strong anymore. I can’t afford to live in your shadow, I can’t afford to be effected by you like this. You don’t know what you’re doing to me, but I promise it can be filed as cruel and unusual punishment.

I don’t know what’s going to happen to me once this ends

But being near you is hard

And being away from you is hard.

I wish I had never met someone as perfect as you.

I wish that you felt what I’m feeling

I wish you could love me like I love you.

I wish that you would think I’m as perfect as I think you are.

I’m afraid to tell you I love you,

But I think my actions do that for me.

I’m afraid of the judgement

I’m afraid of being weak.

I’m afraid of being strong.