THAT GUY IN THE PARKING LOT

There’s this guy, fiftyish, who hangs out in the parking lot on Tuesday nights and plays various  instruments and sings for money like those guys on NYC subway platforms. Only those guys play saxophones and steel drums whereas he plays instruments that have no name.  Evidently people know he’ll be there because they come out to see him play.  Like he’s some kind of underground rockstar and has a cult following.  The only reason we don’t call the cops is that it’s become our big moneymaker night.

The guy attracts an eclectic crowd of people because he has a variety of stylings.

Apparently each week he has a different theme. One night he plays Eddie van Halen for the throwback burnouts of the eighties with the same hairstyle they had back then.  Everyone knows a person like this.  He has a little amp that he plugs into his cigarette lighter and has  pedals. Next week he’ll play Spanish Guitar and he has regulars that dance Flamenco. Right in the parking lot. They actually bring sombreros to dance on and one for him.  There are aficionados for that sort of thing.

He has Elvis night.  That must be the biggest night. We have to make extra hot dogs and have extra Slurpee mix on tap.  One night he’ll do the Jailhouse Rock period and all the classic cars show up.  It’s pretty cool.  Then the next time he plays the white leotard era.  Guys come out wearing costumes. The hair and all.  It looks like Vegas out there.  This guy’s genius.

Every third Tuesday he brings out his mandolin and plays Blue Grass.  People are given to bringing their banjos and fiddles and jamming with him. All they like to drink are the Mountain Dew Solar Flare Double Big Gulps.  I must say that I’ve noticed he makes a lot money this night.  Probably even more than Elvis night.  Those Blue Grassers are one generous bunch. I can’t believe there are so many people that are into Blue Grass in New Jersey.  I mean, I couldn’t picture people from Newark playing banjos. Anyway, they must have means because I passed his mandolin case and saw fifties in there. Fifties.   I imagine people who play this music are like the ones on that show Beverly Hillbillies.  I’ve never even heard of Blue Grass.  It sounds like good weed. Blue Grass Haze. Some high grade stuff.

But wait.  There’ s this night called Dark Side of the Moon.  There is always a big  crowd on hand for that. His fan base grows exponentially every time he performs it. The first time I saw him perform  was such a surreal experience. I feel like I should’ve gone and asked Alice about it.  It was a little creepy. Funhouse creepy.  Listening to the lyrics and sound effects you’d think you were in the mind of a madman. The artistic mad, not the psychopathic mad.  He plays all kinds of instruments and has various of props for it.  I heard it’s some really cool album from the 70s or 80s.  That’s like so ancient.  But you get all kinds of age groups in here.  I’ve even seen some suits out there.  It’s the weirdest most tripped out thing I’ve ever seen. The cops come to watch it.  I overheard one of them say that it was the first concert he had ever been to.

For one song he brings this little alarm clock that has that non-stop ringtone and sets it off.  He has what looks like a thick cane but turns out to be the amazon rainforest in a stick when you turn it upside down.  He shakes it up and down as the alarm goes off and with his other hand he has finger cymbals that he claps like he’s a belly dancer and he chants “bong... bong... bong...bong” which is supposed to be a grandfather clock.  He taps his car with his foot.  He has this Fisher-Price xylophone that he plays  and shakes that stick.  I swear, this guy is out of control. Multi-pedal dextrous like.  It’s about Time.

Then he showcases his vocal skills with this song about some gig in the sky. Holy crow. I never heard anyone belt it out like this guy can.  It sounds like some kind of tortured orgasmic screaming and caterwauling in the highest register you didn’t think could exist in a human being’s vocal cords.  It’s the kind you hear at the Rubber Ramada right before the harpoon but more intense.  He gets into a deep trance.  When you think there’s nothing left he gives you more. The whole time you want to look  away but you’re a deer in headlights. His voice is acrobatic. And I mean Cirque du Soleil acrobatic.  You get vertigo just listening to him.

 I’ve heard him do it  a couple times and I found that it’s consistent which means he’s got phenomenal control and manipulation over his voice.  But the best part is that after a few months people started participating in the show. They started bringing instruments and weird contraptions to help him make all those trippy noises in it. The EMTs come to turn a selection of sirens on for Time.  They’re also there as a precaution. It became an interactive experience like The Donkey Show. A real spectacle.  It got bigger than Elvis night. You might find it on youtube, you just type in “that guy in the parking lot.”  Oh, and you should look up “Great Gig in the Sky” to see what heights the guy is capable of reaching with his pipes.

That night all the employees have to work.  We have a bathroom attendant to direct traffic. We provide Slurpie service which consists of three waiters.   We have people working in the kitchen downstairs to keep the hot dogs, taquitos and hot wings coming. The ovens are full of our $5.55 pizzas.  We created a special Slurpie for them called The Purple Penumbra.  It is a mixture of sloe,  dried seedless tamarind, Bavarian cream and Toffifay. They love it.  It gives them so much energy.  It’s probably the sloe.

He gets asked by some students if they could film him for a video. They tell him they are going to release it in Japan and he’d become an instant sensation.  Then when they release it in the U.S, it would become a rare import that few people will bootleg making it more desirable to those types who want to be the ones who heard it first and are willing to pay for it. Then everyone would be golden.  They would pay him and give him royalties.  He says he would have to think about it.  There are managers from other 7-Elevens that ask if he would do Dark Side of the Moon in their parking lots.  He says he’ll think about it.

They offer to pay him but he refuses.  The local news station wants to do a piece on the spectacular, but he refuses to do any interviews. As much as he is in the public eye he has an elusive persona.  You’d think he was Thomas Pynchon but in plain view. No one even knows his name.  He’s just “that guy in the parking lot.”   He has gained notoriety without any effort or desire on his part.  He just wants to do his thing.

One day he didn’t show up.  He just stopped coming. One of the Flamenco dancers was saying the guy didn’t like how things were going.  He didn’t appreciate other people participating in Dark Side of the Moon because that was a solo act.  He didn’t like the fact that throngs of people came to put on their own show.  He couldn’t tolerate it anymore  It became a circus frenzy.  So he decided to take his act elsewhere. I can’t say I blame him.  Things were spiraling out of control.  It was better to see him do it by himself anyway. That was his signature act.

At first you think that he’s just some weird crazy guy.  And you get annoyed that he’s around but he grows on you and you miss him when he’s not there anymore. Like that stray cat that stays in your yard.  You even start saying he was a cool guy and his shows were awesome.  There is a pall over everyone who comes in the store these days.  They buy the Purple Penumbra Slurpie and stand around the parking lot, their instruments in their car, waiting for him to show up.

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

I was reading and reading along the lines...its well written...just did not have much else...seemed more of a documentary of this guy with amazing talent...and how he could influence people to see him perform and in the end just vanished and never came back...

[Marie]

This didn't really have a plot, but I like it. I like your descriptions. I get a real picture of theis guy in the parking lot. I would like to have seen him.

[Mia Sparrow]

thank you for you kind review. do you have any advice on making a plot. i would appreciate your input. i guess i focus more on description and details than i do on the plot. thanks again.

[Mia Sparrow]

i also have trouble with tenses. i use present tense when i should be using past and vice versa, or just not the right tense at all. do you know how i could be more consistent about it, sometimes i can't tell when which one is appropriate or not.

[Marie]

A story doesn't necessarily need a plot to be good. Many stories are based on description or mood. You car good at building characters like this one and Slurpee. Write what comes naturally to you.

[Mia Sparrow]

thank you so much for your positive reinforcement.