Could it be?A Poem by mercystateofmindCould it be that I’m too damaged to be in a loving
relationship? Could it be the molestation I suffered for years as a child
leaving me to fear sexual relationships? Could it be that I had the luck of being in a bad
relationship, and carried that pain into a loving relationship? Could it be that I would go from horrible, to good, to horrible,
to good, to feeling this cycle is perpetual? could it be that it’s been a vicious cycle that I never
learned to break? Could it be that I dated a woman who was just as mentally hurt
as I was, and we couldn’t help each other? Could it be I dated the absolute worse woman after that,
leaving my mind to think there will no longer be decent women in my lifetime? I
used up my chance. From here on out I should just be with those who hurt me. Could it be the reason I have sabotaged any good
relationship I even had the remote fortune of finding? Could it be that I watched my mom cheat on my dad, only to
let us know we were accidents who should be thankful to be alive? Could it be I didn’t have any strong female role model who
could show me that I can trust a woman? Could it be I don’t want a relationship anymore, because I have
put my hands on women? Could it be I don’t believe I deserve love after what I’ve
done to those who hurt me emotionally? Could it be I never recovered or forgave myself, even if my
victims did so? Could it be I am a monster with a gentle soul trying to
change? Could it be that I just don’t know how to stop being angry? Could it be? I just deserve everything that’s happened to me. © 2016 mercystateofmind |
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