• you hanged me so my toes were just inches from the floor.
You're posturing for dramatic effect, and it interferes. If you're hanged, does it matter if you're inches from the floor or ten feet? Dead is dead, and the one hanging there, in the moments before death, would not be focused on the distance.
• you walk away i hear you say "so close"
So someone unknown has been abandoned by someone not introduced. For you, who has intent to guide you, the meaning and emotion, is clear. But where is the reader's way in, the hook that will bring the all-important empethetic reaction from them. That's why it's important to edit from the seat of the reader, who knows only what the words have said, as they understand them.
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
• you hanged me so my toes were just inches from the floor.
You're posturing for dr.. read more• you hanged me so my toes were just inches from the floor.
You're posturing for dramatic effect, and it interferes. If you're hanged, does it matter if you're inches from the floor or ten feet? Dead is dead
He never said they were dead and inches from the floor when you are dying..not dead...means you are so close to being able to save yourself from death.
So, yes, the distance can matter.
If you were tied to a chair and a knife was just inches from your fingertips as opposed to across the room, hope would remain because you would be 'so close' to being able to escape.
6 Years Ago
JayG. i always do appreciate your take. After reading your reviews i always like to look back and se.. read moreJayG. i always do appreciate your take. After reading your reviews i always like to look back and see what i may have missed and make it better. i like your various ploys and sense of gamesmanship. BBP really nails it in terms of the idea of hope. I picture that maybe dying of thirst in the desert with your cheek in the cool mud of an oasis. Having a sinister nemesis mock you as you go might really suck, worse. Thank you both for the great input. :)
Need think more about these words, think they're almost the double edged sword.. but is it 'you' or 'me' holding it? Intriguing, will re.read at a later date to see if i can solve my own perplexed fascination!
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
Thank you so much for pondering this. :)
i appreciate it.
When I read this I can hear the voice of a woman as she says 'so close' softly under her breath and so for me the story centers around that voice and not that of the man being hanged. I'm reading it as a male / female scene. And if I put myself in her shoes I can see her leaving a man hanging, walking away from a relationship she very nearly got tied up in herself. She almost gave her heart away, so close. And he did, poor fella. So sad. Anyway, I guess I read it a bit differently even though I am sure that is not how it was written. I think it's a really great 'tiny story' for how it can be read any which way but I did not read it as literal death or dying, more the ending of a near relationship.
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
YOU have such a capacity for gaining deep and accurate understanding. Thank you so much for your tak.. read moreYOU have such a capacity for gaining deep and accurate understanding. Thank you so much for your take on this, very much appreciated.
• you hanged me so my toes were just inches from the floor.
You're posturing for dramatic effect, and it interferes. If you're hanged, does it matter if you're inches from the floor or ten feet? Dead is dead, and the one hanging there, in the moments before death, would not be focused on the distance.
• you walk away i hear you say "so close"
So someone unknown has been abandoned by someone not introduced. For you, who has intent to guide you, the meaning and emotion, is clear. But where is the reader's way in, the hook that will bring the all-important empethetic reaction from them. That's why it's important to edit from the seat of the reader, who knows only what the words have said, as they understand them.
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
• you hanged me so my toes were just inches from the floor.
You're posturing for dr.. read more• you hanged me so my toes were just inches from the floor.
You're posturing for dramatic effect, and it interferes. If you're hanged, does it matter if you're inches from the floor or ten feet? Dead is dead
He never said they were dead and inches from the floor when you are dying..not dead...means you are so close to being able to save yourself from death.
So, yes, the distance can matter.
If you were tied to a chair and a knife was just inches from your fingertips as opposed to across the room, hope would remain because you would be 'so close' to being able to escape.
6 Years Ago
JayG. i always do appreciate your take. After reading your reviews i always like to look back and se.. read moreJayG. i always do appreciate your take. After reading your reviews i always like to look back and see what i may have missed and make it better. i like your various ploys and sense of gamesmanship. BBP really nails it in terms of the idea of hope. I picture that maybe dying of thirst in the desert with your cheek in the cool mud of an oasis. Having a sinister nemesis mock you as you go might really suck, worse. Thank you both for the great input. :)