for what you've done

#11

The fire has burned

don't call for me. 

when you said that it was nothing

i was finally at ease

i've been accepting apologies you never gave

i cant help you when there's nothing left to save

i hit the road to where 

that i cant share

i suppose it's just because i didn't see it as a blessing 

as you brushed me off 

like a love long lost.

its not you its me

well obviously

you cant imagine life without me, 

well its your lucky day 

it looks like you wont have to,

i have been junked and put away

as you brushed me off

like a love long lost

and when that moment came

i sure hope you found a way

to find forgiveness-

in your heart 

for what you've done

and all that has been lost for lust

all the sorrys

and the double sorrys 

there is a cost

for what you've done

Reviews

[Papaya]

My first thought was that I finally found one I hadn't reviewed. My second thought was, this poor person has handed over his heart to someone who is either very selfish or has not reached the emotional maturity required for a commitment. It's difficult to be on the receiving end of that...

[mercy party]

thank you for that, really. :)

[BBP]

Nice write Mercy.
Loved these lines.......
i've been accepting apologies you never gave
i cant help you when there's nothing left to save

[mercy party]

thanks for the review. I appreciate you!

[JUPITER21]

The line "Hit the road to where, that I can't share".
As a reader I am curious what you are running from. In trouble with the law? What did the love-sick Cowboy do? Good Stuff my man!

[shyla]

The feeling of love is a strong thing it creates a image that sometimes isn't the truth. In the end it seems the person was realizing the love was always lost. "like a love long lost" and nothing but lust.
This is a great piece of work :)

[mercy party]

Thank You shyla, you pretty much called it right!
awesome that you took the time. I appreciate it.

[Pete]

the sting of cheating/betrayal. title draws you in & the whole write leaves you wondering how it will resolve as it builds. a hurtful, painful, sorrowful ending. "there is a cost
for what you've done". indeed.

[mercy party]

thanks for looking into it. I really appreciate that!

[Dr. Wood ?]

sort of rapping it to myself as you do when you are 65 years old.....................................

[mercy party]

my friend, that just made my day! thank you for that! thanks for checking it out!

[Tony Jordan]

M.P. don't hate me but I have a problem with the use of the lines -
"You brushed me off - like a love long lost."
To me, (and allow me a slight rearrangment of your words to make my point please) 'long lost love' is not a good analogy of something 'brushed off' - 'long lost love' calls to mind something very precious and even at the end of a relationship would not be simply 'brushed off'.
Does that make sense?

[mercy party]

Tony. Thank you for bringing that up. Something does feel awkward about that line for sure. I'm trying to say that something precious was just brushed off like a crumb or forgotten too quick. i think i have an idea, ck for it and let me know. And man, thanks for looking out!

[Tony Jordan]

I feel what you're trying to say - it's not an easy conundrum to solve, that one. Trying to encapsulate so much in a single phrase.
Thanks for taking the criticism in the spirit it was meant my friend !

[Tony Jordan]

How about
"Like dirt you brushed me off - your one true love' - loaded with sarcasm ...

[mercy party]

thank you! i need this song to make sense universally and not just to my abstract bitter mind.

[mercy party]

i like that. i will consider the options.

[Tony Jordan]

No probs M.P. :))

[Kesha]

Another wonderful addition, nicely written

[JessyJacob]

I like this, will be my fav one, will keep in "ARCHIVES".

[Farhan Shaikh]

Entire poem is good but the last paragraph was excellent...i like it the most.

[Althelia Marie Caine]

I've felt that pain before. And you've put it very neatly into words that describe it well.

[mercy party]

much thanks. sorry to re-open old wounds. : )