Tower of London

#10

i quit drinking at 21

early did i have my fun 

and my love she was no longer mine

in the last few days of 39. 

now i'm in the Tower of London locked up and wondering

what i did and what i didn't, i'd do it all again

many questions concerning the circumstances of your disappearance

so i will go

and there's nothing to contradict.

and you will know what a secondary feeling is

when the widow understands the things you did

he was a good man

the blood is on your hands 

you could of left but you insisted

not a chance

and you were right you're not going anywhere

you'll be stuck to matching chairs

things were good and you'll wanna think that they weren't

but you'll remember when her toast is burnt

and you will know what a secondary feeling is

when the widow understands the things you did

he was a good man

the blood is on your hands 

you could of left but you insisted

not a chance

Reviews

[APOORVA]

absolute killer
wow !
well written

[mercy party]

thanks for that.

[aLittlePain]

Dark and painful, haunting words that play on your mind like that voice that whispers to you in the dark! Nothing like being the prisoner and the jailer as well. The pain for these characters is intense...the repetition drives that home. Good stuff my man! R xo

[mercy party]

spot on take! thank you very much.

[JessyJacob]

I agree with comments fo Tony.

and you will know what a secondary feeling is
when the widow understands the things you did
he was a good man
the blood is on your hands
you could of left but you insisted
not a chance

I like the above lines.

[Tony Jordan]

Man has yet to construct a prison like that which we incarcerate ourselves in. No bars yet there's no escape.
This hath understanding MP.
Well penned.
:))

[Papaya]

this is dark one and i'm not sure if I interpret it correctly, two scenarios come to mind. both are painful.

[mercy party]

i brightly thank you for your correct interpretation.

[Papaya]

i seem to keep forgetting to type the friggin' letter 'a' when i leave you comments. you're
welcome ~ brightly

[Giulia King]

Amazing poem! I really want to know what happens. I feel like you can turn this piece into a story :)

[Bala Gorthi]

It is an interesting and intriguing write taking the reader on a tour. It brings sadness and pain as we go through the write especially in " and you were right....... toast is burnt".
We keep revolving around the three characters and I wish it should not be a real story because there is a lot of pain for both.
Thanks for sharing such an interesting craft, Mercy party.

[mercy party]

well, i must say, your review hit my heart. i appreciate you!

[Octavia]

I am unsure what happened towards the end. Is this the same betraying lover as in the previous poem? I get that impression in the first stanza as well as "like fire and submersion, someone new."

Not sure why the relationship's death is on her hands if she chose not to leave. I see her choice to stay for the "matching chairs" - perhaps it is a slow death that the author mourns, a betrayal rather than a clean break?

Anyway it made me think and I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.

[mercy party]

Thanks for your thoughts and time. The widow is seeing she may have been coaxed by the new person she chose. The new person is realizing she will be haunted forever.

[JUPITER21]

So does the guy die or what? I keep waiting for something to happen! LOL. JK. Sweet poem.

[mercy party]

thanks and its yet to be determined, hope i don't disappoint!

[Kesha]

That first line drew me in, "I quit drinking at 21" that's when most people start. It definitely held my attention til the end. Very nice piece :)

[mercy party]

endless gratitude. : )