november resentment

#6

someday she's gonna look at you and resent

someday, i just cant wait

she's gonna lose it all for you two

and soon decide you're not her fate

you're just a stone kicked down my street

you'll be alone and thrown red meat

and you'll be stuck in a blank stare

and realize that she don't care

you were just a soft landing she was never even planning to use,

so you lose

you know its all been said

and i will respect the dead

like you wouldn't even try 

it took seeing november on the calendar to grasp the year you stole from me,

you stole from her

you're just a blur

my possession is your obsession

and it doesn't work that way,

just because your world is full of gray

and you can throw a dumb cheap slogan and say-

life it just happens

it was never yours anyway 

well i guess that goes both ways.

Reviews

[miahstr]

Well written, you exude power throughout the poem. I like that moment you describe... "it took seeing november on the calendar to grasp the year you stole from me"... I can feel that person in that sentence... their pain at the realization of time wasted. Good work. Keep it up.

[mercy party]

thanks for your time! realizing the time wasted is sometimes worse than what happened. thanks for digging in.

[Alessander]

There's the saying "happiness is the best revenge" and then there's this!

I like how it doesn't pull punches. The anger, resentment and betrayal slap the reader in the face.

favs

you're just a stone kicked down my street

you were just a soft landing she was never even planning to use,
so you lose

I also like the somewhat real warning at the end, that women like that are not steadfast, and her imagination, restlessness and whim will likely carry her from him just as from you.

Least, that's my interpretation of it.

Good stuff.

[mercy party]

thanks for the motivational perspective. Your review(s) always help me sort things out in my brain. Thanks for your time, and you nailed it!

[...]

a desire for revenge...bitterness washes over you in waves. Good poem.

[mercy party]

thank you, and thank you!

[Lovecraft]

The bitter resentment is quite palpable, like a thickening fog rolling over you. I like this poem. Sometimes women just use men for their own purposes and/or gain. It's screwed up but true.

Good job, MP! :)

[mercy party]

thanks for checking it out! yes this situation is very "screwy" to say the least. i appreciate it!

[Threads]

"you were just a soft landing she was never even planning to use,
so you lose"
These two lines resonated with me and I think put the poem together quite well, for me at least. Somewhat ties together the different emotions present all around the poem.

[mercy party]

thank you, i appreciate that!

[JUPITER21]

..She's her problem now???

[Tony Jordan]

I was reminded of a song upon reading this one M.P. - it's an oldie called 'Hat's off to Larry'.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xk_FR3341bA

She's his problem now.
Good write my friend.
:)

[mercy party]

thanks man. i was aiming for that type of concept. good song, never heard it before today, thanks for sending it.

[Tony Jordan]

Mission accomplished M.P.
It was the first thing that came to mind upon reading.
Welcome.
:)

[mercy party]

i bet Del took his hat off more than a few times.

[Tony Jordan]

Haha - I guess so - I hope he wore some kind of protection ;p

[Farhan Shaikh]

Very deep connection it forms..and well written..
my possession is your obsession

and it doesn't work that way,

just because your world is full of gray

and you can throw a dumb cheap slogan and say-

The lined above I liked much

[mercy party]

i'm glad it worked. Thanks for your input and time.

[Papaya]

What's different here is that you've time stamped it for the reader which creates a deeper connection. That feeling of being bitter and jilted still very strong. Still an unhealthy desire for revenge.

[mercy party]

thank you reader, for being there.

[Papaya]

I suck at comments, I know...

[mercy party]

...i strongly disagree with that : ).

[Tony Jordan]

me too
You are sound at reviews Ana. You put your heart into trying to get to the crux of the write. That's all anyone can ask.
:)

[Kesha]

I really loved this addition to the rest. Nicely written. Very somber indeed.

[mercy party]

thank you for that.