1st rule of lying (audio)

https://soundcloud.com/user-318968342/first-rule-of-lying

lost my mind

on the drive

cant get back what is gone

you know i must have put my foot wrong

someone new to be sewn to the stitchings

and i just cant sit here in this house of lost things

so take what you want

you sure can empty a room 

just remember with your regrets

that i can covet too

go back home state your case

going on your way

isnt working 

doing what you want

first rule of lying dont over sell

and never go running back, back to where you fell

things got spotty

and oh so costly

you are history

and im not

as you rail and scream

before the light leaves

i want to hear you say

please dont go ok 

Author's Note

https://soundcloud.com/user-318968342/first-rule-of-lying

Reviews

[ms. barrie]

I'm so glad that I've stumbled upon this gem of a write (lyrical piece.)

It is refreshing to come across something that is more than strictly a poem. wonderful word weaving that brilliantly depicts deception...I adore the lyrical flow and the relatable content.

There are way too many lines too choose from that are my favorites.

Thank you for sharing, I look forward to visiting your art again

[mercy party]

Thank you for those wonderful words, they help so much along the way. I am very appreciative of that. TY!

[Poetic License]

Holy moly. I am blown away, yet again. This hits so deep and sticks there, twisting and burrowing. It calls to mind both sides of the relationship - the ones I left and those that left me.

"first rule of lying dont over sell
and never go running back, back to where you fell" I felt this soul deep. Wow. The power in those words nearly knocked me off my chair.

"as you rail and scream
before the light leaves
i want to hear you say
please dont go ok "
This one got me, as well. How many times have I ever wanted to hear those words - don't go. Too many.

Such a powerful poem, my dear friend. Akin to saying good-bye and go to hell at the same time. Exulting in one's own healing and moving on, yet still looking to be valued, wanted and sought - to be pursued.

Fantastic job!

[mercy party]

wow! Thank you for such a meaningful review. I sure do appreciate that. Feedback like that can be so very inspiring. :)

[CAPOLAVORO]

"so take what you want
you sure can empty a room
just remember with your regrets
that i can covet too"
Nice! These lines for me gives a greater impact to the readers I believe. This sets out a powerful tone. Well done. :)

[mercy party]

thank you! so sorry for the very belated acknowledgment.
I do appreciate it . :)

[Island Hippy]

Gosh you have some really amazing lines in this one. Hard hitting

'...This house of lost things'
'First rule of lying....' those lines are awesome! and then those closing lines. Super finish.

[mercy party]

thank you so much for that review!

[Island Hippy]

psst thank you for accept my request as well

[mercy party]

no problem.

[Pete]

life goes on after love gone bad but remaining torn. many great lines. a sad, strong but hopeful tale nonetheless. very creative and well done for sure.

[mercy party]

I sure appreciate that Pete. And yes life does go on...and on...and on...thanks for the review!

[Pete]

ha ha 'on...and on...and on...' life is a marathon, not a sprint. i usually win the battles and lose the war! you're welcome.

[Falcon1]

I want to hear you say
Please don't go!!
Very strong in the way you feel about this love which my be gone But deep down you want it back.

[Nichole]

"never go running back, back to where you fell" this line was my favorite. It makes me think about someone that has cheated and goes running back to the other person when their partner finds out and doesn't want them anymore. But a good line that relates to many different things.

[mercy party]

thank you Nicole! good to hear your take on it... as you are dead on!

[Brittany Carpenter]

So many lines that hit you right in the gut. Love the ending. Simple and raw. I think most of us know this feeling but it's beautiful when you write it.

[mercy party]

thank you for that. Much appreciated!

[aLittlePain]

I feel this, I've been this. Incredible write MP really solid. Emotion filled and superbly crafted! Some of your lines just got me. 'House of lost things' ...the entire second stanza! and the closer is like the bitter taste in your mouth that you wish you didn't want to hear but you long for them. Hats off! R xo

[mercy party]

thank you much, for your time. you might find 3 meanings in the last line "please dont go ok" (depending on where you place the comma).

[Tony Jordan]

Oh the deep desire for a rom-com style reconciliation - not rom-com I mean a Hollywood 'all's well that ends well' reconciliation is write large in the final lines.
Sometimes we issue ultimatums or take steps that don't feel as permanent until after we've taken them. The solid ground becomes wet with tears and then mud which traps us - finally it sets like cement and we can't extricate ourselves from those belligerent positions no matter how much we wish to.

This is so sad M.P.

[mercy party]

man, your reviews are spot on and kick a*s. thanks for being there with me in the mud. Thanks for your time! ( i will post the next one this evening)

[Tony Jordan]

Been in the trenches so often M.P. sadly
You're very welcome my friend.
:)