lake Michigan (track 1)

https://soundcloud.com/user-318968342/lake-michigan

its gonna be hard for you to steal my love again

when you're sinking to the bottom of lake Michigan

you should have just stuck to the streets 

but instead you stole from me

and the price for that is simple

hence the bricks tied to your feet.

you're an empty hallmark, sentimental, cliche, quote deep message

and i see through the bullshit and your entitlement of preference

go ahead and call it good clean fun

to do what should not be done

the wrath of god is being revealed from heaven

and this one bar town is going to burn like Dresden.

looks like she was turned over to a depraved mind

and i couldn't stand a chance, she's no longer mine

it would take a miracle

you should never dig a hole that you cant get out of clean

last night it was the wrong night or was it the right night and just the wrong person?

anyway you look at it we are in need of some dispersin' .

envy,strife, deceit and malice

ever since you scaled my palace walls

and i just cant wait until i finally get to see you fall 

once and for all. 

Author's Note

https://soundcloud.com/user-318968342/lake-michigan

Reviews

[Alessander]

you're an empty hallmark, sentimental, cliche, quote deep message
and i see through the bullshit and your entitlement of preference

Really felt like this cut through the heart of that person.

So many superficial hallmark hipsters with all style and little substance, or the little substance that is there is programmed to be lured by the typical or twisted.

Nice angry piece.

I think we've all been there, rich, poor, cool, or loser...

I also like the allusion to Dresden for some reason. It captures the utter annihilation

[mercy party]

Thank you! man you nailed it! Thanks for doing me justice with such a fired up review. the empty hallmark was trying to identify the dangers of apparent kindness. Sociopathy 101 if you will. im glad the poem reached you.. i just posted the 2nd poem of the saga.

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Nice one Sometimes when people hurt us it's nice to ignore them & move forward in life. After all what is mine would be mine. Nice Poem MB :)

[mercy party]

Damn geography always gets in the way of ignoring. Its like being chased by a mile-marker sign. Thanks for reading and the input.

[Papaya]

wow, that was pretty harsh but I understand the feeling. almost reminds me of a wilco song. i think it's called Chicago. You should check it out.
here's a sample:

"I dreamed about killing you again last night
And it felt alright to me
Dying on the banks of Embarcadero skies
I sat and watched you bleed
Buried you alive in a fireworks display
Raining down on me
Your cold, hot blood ran away from me
To the sea"

Sometimes when people hurt us it's nice to daydream about hurting them back.

[mercy party]

thank you for that and the recommendation on the most perfect sick song! I cant wait to share with you the rest of the story. The series of poems im releasing are the songs on an album im releasing about this whole bizarre mess im in. stay tuned, i will release the second poem today. and..Thank you!

[Papaya]

will i get to hear it?

[mercy party]

yes, for sure.

[Author Gus]

Ironic first post for the name Mr. Mercy. This is good, as proof that it's got 66 views and in a library after just one day.

I like the choice to ignore capitalization/punctuation. It makes the poem feel more raw, primal. This feller is succumbing to his basic instincts and that is what this poem conveys.
'heaven' and 'Dresden' was a clever rhyme. If I were to recommend a tweak it would be with just a single word. 'sentimental' doesn't seem like the right way to describe a hound-dogging playboy; but then I might be misinterpreting it.

Welcome to the café; keep up the good work!

[mercy party]

Hey thanks for all that! if i were to explain who the hound dog antagonist is, it would throw you for quite a loop. For now i will keep you in suspense as this particular saga continues...Lake MI is just a pallet cleanser. I appreciate you checking it out, more to come!

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful use of thoughts and emotions.
"envy,strife, deceit and malice
ever since you scaled my palace walls
and i just cant wait until i finally get to see you fall
once and for all. "
The above lines. Hard, cold and direct. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[mercy party]

Thanks for your review! the story does not end at the bottom of a lake...stay tuned and again thanks!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome and I look forward to reading more.

[Paramagnus]

While rather dark, the imagery and callousness are both humorous and engaging. Fine work.

[mercy party]

thank you!