Im no longer the one you want

my heart

In the same bed but you never seem so distance 
It's like I f*****g missed it
where did you go?
My mind is spinning out if control
The pain streaming down my vains. 
I keep screaming your name
wondering will you ever come back
Like That boy that waited by door  for his father to come back
The same look his mother use to give that  look of  fear to knowing her son won't see his father again.
Waiting for my mind to clear I got so many fears
its been 3 long years
And my dumb a*s is still here
with no real words to explain my pain
I should be ashame 
Im f*****g going insane 
A selfish women indeed 
I have beg you even fell to my knees
You humble my mean a*s
Dam I feel like im kissing your a*s
to never let you know it because my pride wont let me show it.  
I fear the worst to come. 
Im nolonger what you want.

Author's Note

read knowing that this streamed from alot of pain