Its A Mistake

"A mistake on someones sanity, is perhaps the worst mistake that can be made" This is something I wrote for my course, it was also the first piece of original work I showed someone.

The scraping of trolley wheels frightened new patients, but to Julian it was normal. He’d spent the best part of his life in a trolley, being wheeled to the same room, at the same time, everyday. The overhead lights that swung in and out of his visions as he was wheeled under them had become hypnotic over the years.

              Julian’s eyes had once been a bright blue, but now they were dull and lifeless, full of nothing but pain and nightmares. His hair sat on his shoulders in ragged locks and dark purple smudges marked under his eyes and along his cheek bones; a clear sign of his sleepless nights. Over the years of being here his body had grown small and thin, and he always appeared hunched in on himself. Julian’s dull and run down look and feel matched the hospital he was imprisoned in. The corridors were long and cold, doors had deep gauges on them done by desperate fingers. And the whole place had a dark feel to it, full of corners that patients could hide in for a period of time before eventually being found and dragged back to rooms. The hospital was not meant to be the torture cage it had become, but the system had failed to move on with the modern times; leaving the patients in the hands of old fashioned treatments and doctors.

              He’d first been admitted at the age of eleven, for seeing things that others claimed weren’t there. But Julian had remained convinced, all throughout his treatments and doctor appointments that his so called visions were true. Julian saw a boy he called Austin. They’d grown up together, done everything together and it hurt for him to be told he wasn’t real. He was real, Julian could feel the warmth of his skin every time they touched and could feel the touch of slightly cold fingers on his own skin. Together they spent their nights locked up in his room, and every morning they were dragged apart before Julian was strapped to a trolley and wheeled off.

                  This morning was no different, and it wasn’t long before Julian found himself with wires attached to him and a needle in his arm. A doctor in a typical white coat came in and sat beside him, checking a few machines before opening the file in his lap and resting his elbows on the table, crossing his fingers together and resting his chin on them.

“Oh Julian, we all just want you to get better. Don’t you see that?”

Julian who had been gnawing on his lip for the past 10 minutes hesitated, running his tongue over the teeth grooves before speaking softly to the ceiling “There’s nothing wrong with me”

The doctor shook his head, making a few notes with his pencil before standing up and moving to stand closer to the table.

“What did you do last night?”

Julian wanted to roll his eyes, but his sarcastic side that would have followed through with this want was long gone. So instead, he turned his eyes to look up at the man leering over him “Austin and I didn’t do much, just the usual” Silence followed, a few nurses exchanged looks before turning to other work and the doctor gave a defeated sigh before reaching over and pressing a small black button. Electric currents cursed through his veins and Julian’s body arched up off the table with a cry of pain. Shock treatments had been disused in most hospitals, but Julian’s case had been exempt from this pass in the system. The argument being he’d been on it so long; it was probably his only chance of getting better. Julian disagreed, to him the doctor just seemed to enjoy giving him the treatment. After the first shock had worn off, the rest of the morning past in a similar way; he was asked questions, and any answers he gave with Austin in he received a shock. Julian didn’t really understand why they kept trying this, if he really was fake surely he would have stopped saying it by now?

                             Julian was wheeled back to his room, before helped off the table and inside the small shabby space. A single bed was pressed up against the wall beneath the barred windows, tattered photographs of the family he hardly saw were pinned up on the wall and a few personal (and deemed safe) belongings were scattered around the room. A desk was in the corner, a draw of lined paper and a pot of black crayons for writing were sat beside it. Julian looked around the room blankly when he noticed Austin wasn’t sat on the bed waiting and sank to the floor, hugging his knees. It had been years since he’d come back to the empty room, where was Austin? Rocking slightly, he wriggled his toes into the carpet and waited patiently. Hours passed, and Julian began sinking lower and lower into a panicked break down.

                                It was dark when the door opened. Julian was curled up in the corner having worn himself down. The door automatically caused him to flinch, it was probably a nurse coming to get him; but then a warm voice reached his ears and his body relaxed
”Baby, why are you on the floor?”

Julian stood up and leaned against the wall, looking over the room at Austin. Austin’s hair was shorter than Julian’s, but just as messy. His was a dark brown that always fell across his eyes and his eyes were a startling green colour.

“You..you weren’t here when I get back. I thought you’d left..”

               Austin huffed, crossing the room to cup the others cheek “Why would I leave? My entire life is right here. The nurses got to me..”

Julian whimpered, bringing a hand up to grab at the raven’s one, holding onto it. They knew Austin was real, the nurses had seen him “So why are we here then?  When they know about you? Why can’t they let us go?” Austin shrugged, brushing his lips over Julian’s cheek

“I don’t know..but we have to try escape again. We can’t just give up and stay here..”

They’d tried, countless times to escape this place. But it never happened. They were always caught, dragged back and punished. Each time Julian was told to just give in and admit his companion wasn’t real. He didn’t think he could handle another go of this. But, could he really handle years more or this, least of all days? He knew they had to, and so he nodded up at Austin “O-kay..we’ll do it this time, won’t we?” Austin’s arms wrapped around Julian’s waist and he leaned in to give him a kiss “Yes. We will.”

                       Darkness was coming in through the window, Julian and Austin were sat side by side on the bed, silently holding hands. They were both nervous the plan would fail, but it was their only chance. When then nurses came for there nightly rounds Julian was to distract them long enough for them to get out the room. This was the same way most of there plans started, but this time instead of heading for the right stairs to the main doors, they were going to head down to the left ones and head for the basement. There was bound to be a window or a small door they could flee through. All they wanted was the chance to be together, be truly together without having to worry. Loud voices filled the halls and nurses were going in and out of rooms, dispensing medicines and checking no one had been harmed. Julian spared Austin a glance, and a simple kiss to his knuckles before he pulled away, standing up and pacing. Austin moving to hide behind the door. The door opened with a small creak, and two nurses came in, laughing together before they paused looking at him. Usually, they found him curled up under the covers with Austin. It was rare for him to be out of bed. He turned to look at them, licking over his bottom lip before starting to whisper frantically at them, wringing is hands together “I can’t see him. I can’t find Austin..”

He saw the effect these words had on the other from the corner of his eye, Austin shied back against the wall hiding from them and trying to hide the pain in his eyes when he heard the words from Julian’s lips he’d been dreading. The two nurses stared at him in shock before glancing at each other. These words had never left his mouth before, even after receiving shock after shock.

“You can’t see him, dear? Where do you think he is?” They stepped closer, one of them placing what was probably meant to be a comforting hand on Julian’s arm, but instead it made his skin crawl. How easy they seemed to believe his boyfriend wouldn’t be there when for years he’d sworn on the fact he was.

“Gone..he’s gone..” He let out a cry before burying his face in his palms.

                  The staff at the hospital knew when he eventually came to see this, that it would be a difficult time. And so his doctor was kept on call, ready for the moment. Whenever it came. The nurses were too lost in their excitement, trying their best to hide it; but one rushed from the room and up a flight of stairs to call the doctor. Whilst the other went off to fetch tissues and a glass of water, pulling the door to behind her, without thinking to properly shut it. Julain stayed glued to the spot, sobbing into his hands as all this went on until warm arms wrapped around him, and familiar lips touched his ear drawing a gasp from him “Time to run. We have to go. Now.” They shared their embrace for awhile longer before Austin led him over to the door and opened it so they could peer around it. Although the corridor seemed busy, not many people were paying proper attention to his room, and so they took off; running down the bendy corridor and down the steps, taking them two at a time.

                  The basement was cold, and filled with boxes of medical equipment and spare bedding. They both searched desperately for a window or door, there appeared to be none and they were all ready to give up hope and wait to be caught before Julian felt a cold draft against his neck. Spinning on the spot he noticed a small shred of light behind a box. He didn’t think twice before rushing over and pulling it aside. The outside light was shining through a window, and he could see the surrounding forest, and if this window wasn’t luck enough there was a hole in the fence big enough for them to squeeze through. “Austin! Over here, quickly!” Working together, they pushed the boxes aside and shoved hard on the frame till the old rotting wood gave way and the window came crashing down to the stone floor. There was no way the nurses hadn’t heard that, even if they hadn’t already discovered the empty room.

                       “Go up, I’ll give you a boost!” Austin helped Julian up, and he wriggled his small frame out through the window before reaching in and helping Austin out. Pressing their bodies against the wall they looked at the fence. Freedom was so close. They could almost taste it in the air. They waited a few short moments before running off across the gravelled ground, both stumbling and falling into the fence. Lights all over the building behind them were snapping on as more people joined the search for them, but they didn’t have time to think twice. Dragging themselves through the fence, they spared one glance each back at the building before grasping hands and running off into the forest, towards their freedom.

 

A nurse ran down the corridor towards a large window, she’d been told there was no way the boy could have gotten out. But how could they be sure? Pressing her nose against the glass she stared out into the darkness, just in time to see him wriggling through the fence. He paused, staring back at the building before running off. His eyes had looked so desperate. Desperate for freedom, desperate for a chance to live a proper life; she felt the colour drain from her face. She knew he’d been through hell here, and maybe it was best he got away. And as much as these thoughts confused her, made her doubt every pink tablet she’d made him take. Nothing confused her more than the shadows of two boys running hand and hand into the trees, when all she saw was one real figure.. 

Author's Note

Hey, um I don't really mind what people say about this..if anyone does say something that is.
I would appreciate spelling mistakes and stuff pointed out though!
Thank you! :)

Reviews

[ApocalypseLater]

Hey, I liked your story. Keep writing, wee darling!

[Stefanie Holmes]

I love your attention to detail and making the reader see what you are seeing, but in the second paragraph I would try and lessen the use of the word 'and' when you are describing your character. The use of commas and semicolons can help with that. Also, just read through and make sure every detail is necessary or condense your descriptions. For easier reading as well, I would space your paragraphs a little wider so the writing isn't condensed together. You can do that by hitting the enter bar between paragraphs when in edit mode. I hope that helps you!

There were no grammatical or spelling errors that I spotted and overall I thought you wrote the story well. I was hooked until the end and I enjoyed the read! I look forward to seeing you post some more work on the site!

~Stefanie

[Goat]

I like this story, i has great word usage and characterization.

[Cathyy]

I'm glad you like it! Thank you for the review and kind comments! :)