Somewhere

 

When I walk into my mind

The sun will rise

The rain will come

The moon will whispers to me songs

And I will feel his gentle arms

Leaving space to hear my breaths.

Pain and worry will not exist here

While I speak prayers into his ear

 

From far away distance

Someplace very near

I will watch you walk

And your bleeding heart heal

 

I will sleep under his eyes

Feeling faith soaring high

His truth refills me

Tasting better than wine

 

When I walk into my mind

You kiss me on the cheek

Then slip under my hand

I follow your feet

And our silence overflows.

 

When I walk into my mind

Choice will choose itself

You will choose me

And I will choose him.

 

And our silence overflows

As I kiss you on the cheek

And I slip into your hand,

You follow my feet.

 

 

Reviews

[Dinesh Sairam]

"The moon will whispers to me songs"

I guess it's technically right as "The moon will whisper songs to me" :) I liked the expression though, quite calming.

"I will sleep under his eyes
Feeling faith soaring high
His truth refills me
Tasting better than wine"

I loved this stanza especially.. Had a mystic and feel-good tone to it.

Somehow I felt that the last stanza (Repeated) could be removed. The second last paragraph is awesome by itself and it sure is a prefect ending :)

Keep writing.

[Pash]

I'm a fan! It feels like i've been kised by a gentle lover. This is why we write and share our words. To engage the mind and the senses. Effortless flow and a beautiful use of rhyme, i enjoyed every verse. Thank you!

[Liz]

This is sweet, but for me it kind of had a sense of sadness as well. I'm not really sure why, but it kind of just made me feel a little sad. But, it was a nice read. I agree with the other people, the line "the moon will whispers to me songs" doesn't flow that well, but other than that it's a really nice poem!

[FlawedByDesign]

Like Dinesh mentioned, there is something about the line "The moon will whispers to me songs". I would consider changing this to "The moon will whisper songs to me'.
Just a suggestion :)

Other than that, the poem does have a calming and serene quality to it.

I like the oxymoron in,
"From far away distance
Someplace very near"
- but I am sure about the next two lines, because I can't wrap it around my head why his heart would be bleading :(
"I will watch you walk
And your bleeding heart heal"

Well done.

[dreamer :)]

This is really sweet!!! :) I love it!

[lindalou]

This is beautiful, and as others have expressed, the feeling of calm and peace flows are easily as the words your write. "When I walk into my mind"...wonderful! Thank you for sharing it and keep writing.

[A.Lee]

This has such a "moonlit" peaceful feel to it. So calm, it just flows perfectly. Nice work.

[AmazinGrace]

I love this poem so much. It just seemed to give me peace as I read. My favorite parts are the second and last stanzas.

"From far away distance
Someplace very near
I will watch you walk
And your bleeding heart heal"

It's just... beautiful. That's all I can say. I love it so much! :D

[J.S. Pua]

"When I walk into my mind
Choice will choose itself
You will choose me
And I will choose him."

i like this part.
good work..

[Ima]

OMG it was such a beautiful writing Natalie... i really liked it ... and just as one continues to reads it ... one falls into its depth... everything is so beautifully told in this... i love the 2nd last stanza...
Amazing you really have done an amazing job !!