And the Rest

I keep going back to the beginning, because I must,

because I must go back, retracing,

 

retracing tentacle-thoughts, twisting,

twisting back to that cloudless day,

 

that cloudless day they kept us waiting,

kept us waiting till the evening,

 

till the evening was quiet,

quiet like a child asleep,

 

asleep when we arrived.

We arrived because they called.

 

They called when they realised.

They realised it was something,

 

something for a man in white.

A man in white who hurried away,

 

hurried away when we were in sight,

in sight of his need to prepare,

 

to prepare his clinical face,

his clinical face that had to be in the right place,

 

in the right place with the cups of tea,

the cups of tea waiting with the chairs,

 

the chairs put out ready by the nurse,

the nurse who hovered with the shaking tea,

 

the shaking tea we took in both hands after he told us.

He told us what he’d seen on the X-ray,

 

the X-ray which revealed it all, and the rest,

and the rest is why I keep going back to the beginning.

.