a love letter

tw: eating disorder, suicidal thoughts

I.

do you think i’m pretty 

do you think my body is perfectly fine

do you think my clothes fit me well

do you think my eyes hold the stars and the moon and all the overdone ‘aesthetics’ of our time

do you think my face is finely sculpted

do you think my lips are plump and divine

do you think my hands are like candles

do you think my legs are the paths to a river of endless wine 

do you think my hair glistens like the oil i rub on my forehead when i want to (die) calm down

do you think about me. do you think about me. do you think about me all the time?

II.

last night i washed the remnants of my makeup down the drain

my brown eyeliner trickling down the sink, a never-ending stream of acid rain

when i looked up i could see you - another face

no words were exchanged

fingers like a gun (if only) straight down there

cocking right at my throat, leaving no air

the sound of my beauty slipping 

onto the toilet

you only watched, dead silent. 

III. 

i snipped off my nails with the bite of my jaw

a familiar sensation on my teeth, reverting me back into a child

it made me wish

if only i could snip some of my cheeks off too

if only i could shave the thick slab of skin on my thighs

if only i could trim the edges of my arms

if only i could run my neck on a grater

if only i could fillet my stomach with a knife

IV.

do you think i’m pretty

do you think of me all the time

do you think i’d be perfect for you

if i took out most of what was mine

do you think a razor

would be better than an actual gun

do you think chewing off my skin

would finally make you and me 

as one

Author's Note

What do you think the structure of the poem (how it was divided into segments/sections)? Is the poem effective in delivering its message?

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

A highly dramatic effective write
It does get the message across loud n clear
Self esteem is low self love is low self acceptance is low eating disorders and self hate maybe all this n more along with self harm
It is very clear
A cry for help in a letter
To oneself
I hope you the writer are ok and if this is you at present remember from me
An old lady aged 62 nearly 63 don’t be hard on yourself things change
Life changes we change don’t hate yourself you have a soul an original from God it’s beautiful let it shine there’s only ever gonna be one of you ever ever ever don’t waste it with self doubt hate xx enjoy life
All in all a good write I like the layout ,

[memorylanded]

Hello, thank you for your lovely comments. I wrote this during a dark time in my life, and your advice really means a lot to me. Still figuring things out as a young adult, but it's been honestly tough. Thank you so much :)

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Ok no worries 😉