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Sunday, January 24. 2016

21:09

For the past few days, besides today, I have been talking to Kale. After I had that dream about him, I decided to send him a hello message. To my surprise, he actually answered quite fast, which is surprising with his super busy schedule and his oh so popular girlfriend. 

Our conversation is nothing of interest to be writing about on here, but I found it nice just to exchange a few words. 

I didn't answer him back this morning after our conversation somewhat died last night, and I didn't find any reason to continue it. I was watching some Snapchat stories about 5 minutes ago and I saw one from one of our mutual friends of him at a party where he was completely drunk eating popcorn. I wanted to message him, to see what he would say to me. And I found myself watching that Snapchat at least a few more times until I saw (what I assumed to be) his girlfriend's hand rubbing his shoulders in a 'comforting way'.

Texting him would be terrible right now.

Yesterday I wanted to write about how I went geocaching with my dog. We went just before the sun went down, which was a terrible idea since the cache was in the woods and literally nobody was out. It was terrifying when we found ourselves lost and my GPS kept jumping around. I started to feel my anxiety come on and my 'bad trip' happening, and I took out my phone and found myself dialing Kale's number. I quickly discarded that and called up Jones. 

What was I thinking.

I haven't seen Jones in a few days, since last Thursday. We usually see each other every other day, some weeks every day, so it's hard for me to be alone this weekend. 

I'm so dang needy.

I guess he forgot that we were supposed to hangout tomorrow after his finals, for he blew me off once again. But who am I to complain, it's so he can take his mom to the hospital again. I would be the worst girlfriend if I got upset over that. But here I am still finding myself upset.